ON THE AGING & LIVING PROCESSES

  THE AGING PROCESS  :  ON GETTING OLD (DIS) GRACEFULLY….

QUOTATIONS

I have finally become the person I always wanted to be: an old person, perhaps still young at heart, and a naive mind, the old man I wanted to meet in my youth.

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies.” CS Lewis

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable." Oscar Wilde

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." Will Rogers

"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars –more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." C.S. Lewis

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." Golda Meir

"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued."Bill Dane

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.  Mark Twain

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself."

Tom Wilson

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home." Phyllis Diller

"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."Rita Rudner

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." Phyllis Diller

"Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere." George Burns

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get backup" John Wagner

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." Leo Rosenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”

 Robert Orben

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." Unknown

"At my age, flowers scare me." George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." Unknown

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." Ann Landers

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labelled senile." George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." Robert Brault

"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." Unknown

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."  Sir Norman Wisdom

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy Rooney

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzoni ( A pedophile priest)

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”  Lee Trevino

"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." John Mendoza

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam." George Carlin

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." Bob Hope

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"

 Barry Cryer

"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. Then, you only have to remember it.” George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”  Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380pounds, and tell the truth." Conan O’Brien

"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." Albert Einstein

"Grand children don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." J. Norman Collie

"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." Mark Twain

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." Joel Plaskett

"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." Unknown

"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." George Burns

"The idea is to die young as late as possible."  Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” George Burns

"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." George Burns 

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." Anonymous.

“Those who love deeply never grow old, they may die of old age, but they die young.” Benjamin Franklin

“Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” Satchel Paige

 “That’s another great thing about getting older. Your life is written on your face.” Frances McDormand

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” Franz Kafka

 “Old age is always 15 years older than I am.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

“We are always the same age inside.” Gertrude Stein

“It matters not how long we live but how.” Phillip James Bailey

Aging: For a chuckle and a laugh:

An elderly gent had serious hearing problems for years. He went to the MD. He was fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gent went back in a month to the doctor who said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.'

The gent replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

 

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

 

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

 

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

 

Three old guys are out walking.

The first one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'

The second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

The third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

SOME POEMS ON AGING

 

 Age is Better – Rod Mc Kuen

I have been young,                a fresh-faced sprout,

with agile legs, a muscled arm and smile to charm the world I went through

         in a rush to get a little older, sooner.

Catching my reflection while passing past

                         a looking glass not long ago

I discovered I was older, even old. There was no sudden melancholy or regret, and yet

some sadness in the wonder that it happened while I wasn’t watching,

No pause to proudly ply the autumn into winter  process.

Imagine. Nothing changed.

I run as fast. I think a little faster and yet forget at times what I went after there as I left here to

get it. This while crossing half a room          not half a lifetime. 

So I’ve been young and I’ve been old and have determined old is better. 

Youth unfolds like coy Cleopatra from a rug spilling all its golden wonders at the foot of age

who seems to envy everything, especially spring.

                               The young pledge anything to get an audience. Delivering

sometimes, most times not, on their way before the promissory note comes due.

Can you blame them as they hurry off, afraid another runner may beat them to The Score ahead                                leaving nothing to be scored?

Age is oft times bitter, feeling in its failing health that wealth of life eluded it. Apologize somebody or

some thing for leaving me to find the way I never found or could not find because it was not there                                   or never was.

 

But having seen the surge of youth, the sag of age in breast and chest and everything, I still say spring                                    is overrated. Age is better.

Less is expected of the once firm chest that drags a little lower, the robust voice reduced to murmur                                     speaking slower.

Age can finally say aloud what it really feels and thinks in after dinner company or crowd.

                                No one blinks. If they do, no matter.

Age erases pretence; replacing it with honesty.

Age is proof you got from there to here.  Alas so many that you loved did not complete the journey. You mourn them, yes, and always will, but age is such a triumph over youth, again, because you moved across the years to here.        Leaving there where it belongs for youth to come along and re-discover.    Rod Mc Kuen

Time Steals Away ( by Mary Groarke)

The week I was born,

The world had aged.

It was older than yesterday,

And thousands of years older than me.

Monday brought rain in early morning.

Tuesday, war stole over villages, breaking lives.

By midday on Wednesday, children were singing,

Preparing for Christmas pantomimes and shows.

Thursday the philosophy club met for drinks

And discussed why Christmas exists at all.

Friday evening the weekend days were close,

Somewhere those days filled up with pain

And uninvited consequences resounded.

That one week,

After I was born,

The world had aged.

It was older than yesterday.

And thousands of years older than me.

Another Monday, school started with a bang.

Exams exhausted the land and took control.

That Tuesday, teachers went on strike

And stayed home Wednesday to make a point.

Thursday brought floods after heavy showers

With Friday spent mopping up the wet residue.

The weekend saw the opening of spring fairs

And prayers for sun to mitigate the rain.

That week

After I was born

The world had aged.

It was older than yesterday.

And thousands of years older than me.

Several Mondays brought miners working mines.

Next day, their lungs were filled with choking misery.

Babies burst out on Wednesdays, crying for milk.

Nuns prayed on Thursdays for the world’s forgiveness.

Friday night, Kiddush brought peace and beauty.

Every weekend brought fun, rest and joy to some.

The weeks moved quickly, speedily along.

1984, 2001, milestone years came and went.

Every week

After I was born

The world aged.

It was older than yesterday.

And thousands of years older than me.

Then, my Mondays to Sundays zipped right by.

Dreams became opportunities hit, and missed.

Once wishing to be 21, now double that would suffice.

Time became unstoppable, aging became inevitable.

Events happened in the blink of a speedy eye,

And joints began to creak before I realised

A lifetime had happened to ponder about,

To shout out loud about, to leave behind.

Some week,

After I am no more

The world will have aged.

It will be older than yesterday.

And thousands of years older than me.

Mary Groarke – January 2024

Ageing

When I look in the mirror just what do I see?

A wizened old woman, could it really be me?

I take off my glasses and everything’s hazy

But my young self appears and I’m not going crazy

All that is there are the bits that don’t show

All the things that I’ve learned

All the things that I know

I’m resplendent in wisdom

I’m the sage that friends seek

And it just doesn’t matter that there’s veins on my cheek

It’s great to have knowledge

To have learned from mistakes

Every line every wrinkle hard earned

They’re not fake!

So for me old age comes with a great deal of pride

I put my specs back on as I’ve nothing to hide.

 By Maggie 2024

Acceptance

Accept the fact you’re not so young

Your looks are gone – your praises sung

No longer.  Now as time passes

Your body sags – and you need glasses.

Accept the fact you’re growing old

Accept the fact your nose is cold

In winter, when the cruel winds blow

and earth is covered with soft snow

Accept the fact your friends have died

So wipe away those tears you’ve cried

Tomorrow is another day

Whatever else your heart may say.

Janet Patterson 2024 

Up to now, we have been "frolicking" with the topic of Aging, keeping it light, humorous, academic and somewhat cerebral/literary with all the quotes and narratives.  Today, we went through the back door, facing the aging demons, the somber alleys and reviewing and acknowledging the dark side of aging, including the loss of autonomy, the loss of freedom, the loss of dignity while being repulsed by the awareness that at the end, your only living space is in one corner of the bed. Not only that but being surrounded by strangers caring for you and facing the terror of acute tormenting pain, not to mention looking at the reality of your own demise in the face, is not a fun prospect for anyone.

A dear friend of mine a few weeks back shared that one of her dear friends died in his sleep.  Wouldn't we all want to go off into the next realm in such a gentle way! Unfortunately, it doen't happen that often. (Norma Koening , Norma Kira Masip).

What Will Matter? ( by Michael Josephson) 

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten

will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations

and jealousies will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from

or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

 

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

 

What will matter is not what you bought

but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success

but your significance.

 

What will matter is not what you learned

but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,

compassion, courage, or sacrifice

that enriched, empowered or encouraged others

to emulate your example.

 

What will matter is not your competence

but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,

but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories

but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,

by whom and for what.

 

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

 

Last night I facilitated my first “Death Cafe” in the community.  Two brave souls attended.  And how rich was our conversation.  We talked about death, what it means and our fear about it.  And this poem summarizes well some of the themes we talked about – about how an awareness of death can help us to truly live.

 I read an article recently that talked about those in Bhutan who try to make it a habit to think about death 5 times a day for 5 minutes.  And it’s a place with some of the happiest people in the world.  Perhaps there is something to the truth echoed in Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days so we may gain a heart of wisdom,.”  That truth was echoed last night in our group as it echoes with wisdom through the centuries for all who are willing to hear and to listen.  So, perhaps at least one time today I’ll try to pause for 5 minutes also to reflect on my end, so to become aware, give thanks for life and better express my love for and to others. Oh, we don’t want to think about it – our own death.  But if we did more often maybe we’d actually enter into joy more often that life is a “get to,” not a “have to.”