miércoles, 28 de febrero de 2018

Proverbially, YOU CAN´T,SHOULDN´T,MUSTN´T,..Modals again

                  

Proverbially YOU CAN´T/SHOULDN´T/MUSTN´T/ AREN¨T SUPPOSED TO/…MODALS in Context


…HAVE  IT  BOTH WAYS
…HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT/ EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT
…GET BLOOD/ WATER OUT OF A STONE
…MAKE AN OMELETTE WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS
…MAKE A SILK PURSE OUT OF A SOW´S EAR
…RUN WITH THE HARES AND HUNT WITH THE HOUNDS
…TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
…TEACH YOUR GRANNY TO SUCK EGGS
…JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
…SHAKE HANDS WITH A CLENCHED FIST
…TELL WHICH WAY THE TRAIN WENT BY LOOKING AT THE TRACK
…WIN ARGUMENTS BY INTERRUPTING SPEAKERS
…HAVE A RANBOW WITHOUT RAIN
... HAVE TOO MUCH/ENOUGH OF A GOOD THING
…PICK UP TWO MELONS WITH ONE HAND
…FOOL ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME
…SIP SOUP WITH A KNIFE
…SEE THE WOOD FOR THE TREES
…SEE THE SKY THROUGH A BAMBOO TUBE
…MEASURE THE SEA WITH A SHELL
…CHEAT AN HONEST MAN
…CATCH A CUB WITHOUT GOING INTO THE TIGER´S DEN
…GET WHAT YOU WANT
…DO EVERYTHING (Life is about choices)
…PLEASE EVERYONE
…VOMIT THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE CAN
…CATCH OLD BIRDS WITH CHAFF
…DRIVE A WINDMILL WITH A PAIR OF BELLOWS
…KNOW WINE BY THE BARREL
…LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD
…MAKE PEOPLE HONEST/SOBER BY ACT OF PARLIAMENT
…SEE THE CITY FOR THE HOUSES
YOU MAY TAKE A HORSE TO WATER BUT YOU CAN´T MAKE HIM DRINK
YOU MUST LOSE A FLY TO CATCH A TROUT
CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

(MOOT POINTS)

…TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
…LEARN TO BE HAPPY
…HIDE YOUR LOVE
…HURRY LOVE
…DO THAT
…STOP THE BEAT
…BLAME EVERYONE  FOR WHATEVER HAPPENS TO TOU
…TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
…GUESS WHO LIVES WHERE
…BREAK RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH YOUR MOBILE PHONE
…THINK STRAIGHT
…SEE CLEARLY NOW
…FLY
…BE FREE/IMMORTAL
…SING A RAINBOW
…HELP NOTICING STH
…HELP FALLING IN LOVE (WITH YOU)
…DO IT YOURSELF
…CHANGE THE WORLD/YOURSELF
…COMPLAIN ALL THE TIME
…CRITICIZE OTHERS
…TALK SO MUCH
... BEAR THE THOUGHT OF...(IT)
…DUMP YOUR PARTNER OVERNIGHT
…RECOVER YOUR UMBILICAL CORD
…HAVE A ROW WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET
…RISE AGAINST THE RULING CLASS
…BE NEGATIVE ALL DAY LONG
…MAKE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE
…TALK TO A PLANT/TV/WASHING-MACHINE
…INSULT OTHER PEOPLE´S BELIEFS
…IGNORE OTHER PEOPLE
... LOOK BACK IN ANGER
... CHANGE YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO A SOCCER CLUB
... AVOID ACCIDENTS
... AVOID MAKING MISTAKES
…WELCOME STRANGERS INTO YOUR HOME
…INVADE PEOPLE´S PERSONAL SPACE
…FORGET THAT EVENING
…SPY ON YOUR FRIENDS
…SIT IN THE LOTUS POSITION ALL DAY LONG
…CHANGE YOUR NAME
…LIE ABOUT YOUR PAST
...MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
... FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS BLINDLY
... FILL YOUR MIND WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
... LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR
…BE ENTIRELY SERIOUS
...TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY
... KEEP TWO LOVERS SIMULTANEOUSLY 
...THANK HIM/HER/THEM ENOUGH
...TAME THE BEAST FROM THE EAST
...TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE
...MISS YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH LIFE
...CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
...GET RID OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND MELODIES
...OFFEND ME!
...GET OVER THE SHOCK OF LOSING YOUR FAMILY
...LIVE OTHER PEOPLE´S LIVES
... RESIST TEMPTATION
…GLORIFY TERRORISM
…FREE YOUR MIND
…MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
…GET YOUR MONEY BACK 
...AVOID BEING CAUGHT ONCE YOU TRESPASS
... BRING WEED/HASH/POT TO SCHOOL
…FLASH THE FLESH
...STONE PEOPLE YOU DISAPPROVE OF
…PRETEND YOU ARE A DOCTOR
... STOP GLOBAL WARMING
...INVOLVE EVERYONE TO START A WAR
…BECOME A SUPERHERO

Versus  IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING

jueves, 1 de febrero de 2018

imaginary orders,nobility titles and clubs...D.D.

The Devil´s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce is a constant source of inspiration for its cynical and sardonic wit. As a teenager we set up a restricted membership club called:"The snub-nosed bitter revolutionaries", which soon fizzled out into oblivion.As Groucho Marx pointed out: "I would never belong to a club or be part of an organisation which had me as one of its members...
Let´s enumerate some of the real,royal and fictitious clubs as mentioned in A.Bierce´s Devil´s Dictionary:


Order of the Knights of Adam 

Visionaries of Delectable Bosch 

The Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes 

The league of Holy Humbug 

The Golden Phalanx of Phalangers 

The Genteel society of expurgated Hoodlums 

The Mystic Alliance of Gorgeous Regalians

 Knights and Ladies of the yellow dog 

The Oriental Order of Sons of the West 

The Blatherhood of INSUFFERABLE stuff 

Warriors of the long bow 

Guardians of the great Horn Spoon 

The Band of Brutes 

The Impenitent Order of Wife-beaters 

The Sublime Legion of  Flamboyant Conspicuants 

Worshippers at the Electroplated Shrine 

Shining Inaccessibles 

Fee-Faw-Fummers of the Inimitable Grip 

Janissaries of the Broad-Blown Peacock 

Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple 

The Grand Cabal of ABLE_BODIED SEDENTARIANS 

Associated Deities of the Butter Trade 

The Garden of Galoots 

The Affectionate Fraternity of men SIMILARLY WARTED 

The Flashing Astonishers

 Ladies of Horror

 Cooperative association for breaking into the Spotlight 

Dukes of Eden 

Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith 

Knights-Champion of the Domestic Dog 

The Holy Gregarians  

The Resolute Optimists

 The Ancient Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs 

Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity 

 Dukes Guardian of the Mystic Cesspool 

The Society for the Prevention of Prevalence  

Kings of Drink 

Polite Federation of Gents -Consequential 

The Mysterious Order of the Undecipherable Scroll

 Uniformed rank of lousy cats 

Monarchs of Worth and Hunger 

Sons of the South Star 

Prelates of the Tub-and Sword 

Sons and Daughters of Hope and Fear  

Mystery Society of Ignorant of the Unknowable

Royal Society for the Protection of Words 

National Society of Submissive Ignorant and Brown nosers

 Royal Society for the Positive Appraisal of Ugly People 

The Junk-fed lovers of Utter Rubbish. 

The Spiritual Association of Money Worshippers 

The Original Plagiarists´Society 

THE ARELUM Brotherhood 

The Royal Society of Chemtrail lovers 

The Aznarian Society of believers in Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Gastronomic Society of Lovers of Haxe Schwein/Ceviche/Quinoa 

Ethical Society of Honest PP members and sympathisers 

Epicurean Society of siesta and fiesta addicts

 Hedonistic Club of weekend lovers 

Psychic Association of Victims of Excruciating Physical Pain 

Skeptical believers 

Fantasies of Escape Senior Group 

Most Honourable Society of Compulsory Liars 

Mystical Association of the souls of the dead in Purgatory 

Toilet lovers united 

Bad art enthusiasts 

Lovers of the Hair Museum 

Mint lovers 

Most prestigous Order of Teachers and Pig castrators 

Most egregious Order of Beekeeping Teachers

 Most divine Order of Masturbating Priests 

Most Sublime Order of Boring Couch Potatoes 

The Oriental Order of Papiroflexic Otakus 

 The Special Order of Shiatsu and Reiki practitioners 

The Distinguished order of Music Maestros 

The most ancient order of Toxic Maniac Principals 

The most learned order of guilty-ridden headmasters 

The semi-autonomous order of envious caretakers

 The authoritative order of Neurotic manipulators 

The powerful order of Mediocre Psychopaths 

The emeritus Association of Gossip Professors 

The most visual order of internet ADDICTS 

The therapeutic Community of Emotional Vampires 

The Emphatic order of Compulsive Eaters 

The most reverent Society of Satan Worshippers

 Royal Victorian Order of lovers of the Walking-Stick/Pure Sheer Shit... 

The Most Holy order of the Saintly Prepuce /Foreskin

The Most Honourable Order of Holy Underpants 

The Most Innocent Order of Wheeler-Dealers 

The Royal Fraternity of Compulsive Liars 

The Historical Brotherhood of Exiled Presidents 

The Patriotic Order of Ruined Plutocrats 

The Meaningless Dukedom of Indifferent Patriots 

The Mendacious Association of Democratic Impostors

 The marvellous Group of Sincere Hypocrites 

The most Insane Association of Philanthropic Inquisitors 

The Humanitarian Society of Lady Killers 

The Genuine Association  of Humorous Homeopathists 

The Abject Royally Promiscuous Clique of Emeritus Kings 

Companions of Disgrace 

 Lovers of Crystal power 

Physician´s order of Holistic healing

 Most Sonorous Club of Psychic Vibrations 

The Karmic Club of Therapeutic Ionisers 

The Fraternity of Water energizers and spiritual intuition.

Most organised order of Shirkers, Avoiders and Lounge Lizards


(TRUE ASSOCIATIONS below: Find out more about each one of them) 

THE BENEVOLENT & PROTECTIVE ORDER OF ELKS

The Obedient Wives´Club 

 SKOPTSY 

SHRINERS INTERNATIONAL(Freemasons) 

PHI BETA KAPPA

 THE ORDER of THE OCCULT HAND 

THE BLACK HAND 

BELIZEAN GROVE 

THE EJECTION TIE CLUB 

THE MILE HIGH CLUB 

THE ALFALFA CLUB 

THE BEEFSTEAK CLUB 

DISNEY´S CLUB 33 

THE BILDERBERG CLUB 

The GIGA Society 

THE WOODCOCK Club 

MENSA 

THE BOHEMIAN Club

 THE 7 Society 

The Order of Chacronea 

THE KNIGHTS of the APOCALYPSE 

The CALVES´Head Club

 THE ARIOI 

THE ORDER OF THE PEACOCK ANGEL 

THE LEOPARD SOCIETY 

THE BALD KNOBBERS  

THE WORSHIPPERS OF DIVINE ORGASM

THE UTTAR PRADESH ASSOCIATION of DEAD PEOPLE

Make up your own Association,Order or Club and give it an original simple or compound name.

Imaginary nobility titles:
 I am referred to as the Earl of Sexi Firmium & Narixa; 
You could be appointed/annointed Duke of Ocurris &Ostippo; 
He could be the Count of Acinipo & Claviclum;
She could well be the Marchioness of Detunda & Illiberis;
It is the King of the Macroprotodon Cucullatus/Vipera Latasti
We are M.B.E.;O.B.E.Hallucinating members of the Human Race...

Give yourself a nobility title.

REALITY or FICTION?
Did these characters really exist?:

The Count of Montecristo

Count Dracula
The Marquis of Sade
 The Red Baron 
Duke of Earl 
King Kong 
The Queen Mother 
The Maharani of Kapurtala
The Knights at the Round Table
Archduke of Ausria 
The Countess in Hong Kong
Emperor Julius Caesar 
 Lord Byron 
Princess Casamassima 
Queen of the Underground
The Monarch Butterfly

Why did some pop groups have royalty in their names?:

QUEEN
PRINCE 

KING CRIMSON