martes, 31 de octubre de 2017

The Gospel of Vaguenesses

THE GOSPEL of VAGUENESSES:
VITAL VAGUENESSES  MAY BE VALID for EVERYBODY: This can be textbook material for pseudo-psychologists, new age health gurus, clairvoyants, quack doctors, soothsayers, horoscope writers, mediums, religious brainwashers, bible thumpers, touch healers and  psychics of all sorts so common in our society.
In fact, all the statements below can be applied to nearly everyone I know because of their fuzziness, lack of preciseness and indefiniteness so common in self-help books. Remember that people are both gullible and naïve and beware of sweeping generalizations like this one as we can believe nearly everything from religion to science-fiction;  both of them are very similar when you come to think of it.
Mine is a CRUSADE against simple inherited thoughts, worn-out cliches and "idees reÇues"...
Beware also of that great thought paralysis  which proverbs automatically create, they numb and anesthetize your  creative mind.
"To be properly and perfectly vague, you have to be vague about something" Henry James

Statements of  Vaguenesses and Generalizations:
You love…….Music /Sports;/Money/ (Who doesn´t?)
You have……..what it takes/too much to do in your life/to bring your special gift to the world/ deep respect for life/a photo of a loved one/ to live life to the full/ a special person who means a lot to you/a particular date which means much to you/ to be careful/a tendency to daydream/ to find new and deeper meanings in your life/the energy to help others/ (secret)hopes and fears/ nobility/ self-repressed tendencies/ complex emotions/ limitless imagination/ dreams and ambitions / joy of living/ obsessions and phobias/ hidden talents/ a great future in front of you/ a fascinating past behind/
You are………special/unique/peculiar/a warm and caring person/ sensitive to other people/ critical of yourself/uncomfortable at social events / a good listener/ too busy/ too tired/ changing/loyal / warmhearted/ highly sensitive/unpredictable/practical/ curious/ nice/
Difficult to get to know/ a survival of adversities/ responsible/spontaneous/active/ rational and communicative/compassionate and tolerant/ an incurable romantic/ artistic and perceptive/ changeable and adaptable/ brave/ generous/ loyal/ full of energy and vitality/ assertive and enthusiastic/ enterprising and decided/ looking for stability/ patient/ proud/ a perfectionist even/ stressed out/ capricious/ creative/ a dreamer/ a doer/a family person

You prefer…… fresh food to processed; to be safe than sorry; not to waste time and money/ humour/justice
You can…..swing between being overwhelmed by your emotions or trying rigidly to control them/seem unrealistic/be subjected to a vast RANGE OF MOODS/ learn a lot about yourself/ be patient/ courageous
Be distracted/ get bored easily/ be charming/ be emotionally vulnerable/ be shy at times/
You consider yourself…in good shape (for your age); an active person
You enjoy …exercise/ your work/helping people/good art/learning/ being with friends/ your family/ your mobile phone/ integrity
You avoid ….potentially dangerous places/ touching toilet seats in public places/ medication/ queuing/
You believe….that rest and sunshine can be as important as medicine/that life is sacred/in your own goodness and inner strength/ goodness and truth will triumph over evil/joy comes from the simplest things in life/
You feel… overwhelmed by the beauty of Nature/
You do…the best you can/anything to avoid being unhappy/
Alcohol/Smoking is not an essential part of your life
There are people that you just cannot and will not forgive/ important dates in your life/
You want…..more/to be free/ entertainment
With patience and calm understanding will come.
Appearances are deceptive
No pain, no gain
Time is a great healer
All you need is Love/Hope/understanding/patience/..
Conceive/Believe/Achieve 
The best/worst is yet to come
It could have been worse
Eat better,Think better,Dream big
Live simply:Less is More
Love generously: Care deeply
Speak kindly
Love is never lost; if not reciprocated
t will flow back and soften and purify your heart
The recent death of someone in your family affected you deeply.

LET´S COMBAT PREJUDICE &
·         Self-suggestion, so-called positive or neg vibrations:

·         Andalusians are lazy not as hardworking as Castillians.
      Andalusians are funny
       Catalans are mean
       Germans are squre-headed
        French are dirty
        Black people are smelly
       Men are better drivers than women
A     All political parties/ politicians are the same
·           Parents try to make life easy/difficult for their children.
·         Women drivers are worse than men
·         Every salesman lies to make more money on a sale.
·         Homework can be easy/hard. 
·         The United States is colder than Europe.
      Americans are ignorant
·         Americans are fatter than Europeans
·         Women want to… have large families/ marry a rich man.
·         Men are all afraid of commitment.
·         The best way to make new friends is to just start talking to people.
·         Nobody really believes that the Earth is flat.
·         Most politicians are greedy and manipulative.
·         Catalans think Spain robs them of their money.
·         Cats are nicer than dogs/ are more independent than dogs
·         Dogs are smarter than cats.
·         Most people find church very boring.
·         Everyone likes a little bit of excitement and variety in their life.
·         Only a fool would believe what commercials say.
·         Learning to drive isn’t difficult.
·         College is the only way a person can be properly educated.
·         Everyone who goes to college is an elitist. 
·         Rich people are greedy.
·         Poor people are lazy. 
·         Men don’t enjoy window shopping.
·         Everyone is a cynic these days.
·         No one could complete a marathon without the appropriate training.
·         It’s impossible for children to appreciate art.
·         Children should be seen and not heard.
·         If you believe you can do it, you will always succeed.
·         All success is brought about by good luck. 
·         Gentlemen with this kind of upbringing are very trustworthy.
·         No one is born evil. 
·         Everybody loves a trip to the theme park over the summer.
·         Police officers are corrupt.
·         Police officers are heroes. 
·         Girls don’t enjoy playing with cars the way boys do.
·         Boys don't enjoy playing with dolls the way girls do. 
·         The only way to learn another language is to visit the country where it is spoken.
·         It’s never a good idea to drink coffee after noontime.
·         To be an author, you need to have a large vocabulary.
·         Only dead fish go with the flow.
·         All criminals have troubled backgrounds.
·         All criminals can be rehabilitated. 
·         Nobody truly thinks the world is going to end.
·         Everyone thrives on drama. 
·         Photographers can’t earn very much money in this economy.
·         A long commute to work makes a person much less productive.
·         Cooking isn’t difficult; all you need are the right ingredients.
·         Anyone can learn to cook if they only try. 
·         Everyone loves a delivery of flowers and a box of chocolates.
·         All women want men to be romantic. 
·         Your family will always be there for you. 
·         Friends are people who will never let you down no matter what.
·         Men all want the same thing – money, power,sex and fame.
·         Football players are arrogant, cocky people.
·         Nerdy kids are all going to grow up to be rich. 
·         Pretty people are always stuck up. 
·         Overweight people always overeat. 
·         The customer is always right. 
        Civil servants are lazy
·         Blondes are dumb
      Good poets are gay
      Life, Education,Technology is a mystery
     The fault is with the system
     God always forgives
     What matters in a relationship is INSIDE ,not OUTSIDE beauty
     The new rch lack taste
     Life is a vale of tears
     Bullfighting is cruel/art
     This boy is clever,he´s just lazy..
......................................

Continue by writing three more sweeping statements:

domingo, 1 de octubre de 2017

LONG LIVE "UGLY" words!!!

LONG LIVE   so-called “UGLY” WORDS
REMEMBER WHEN WE COLLECTED THE 100 MOST BEAUTIFUL WORDS IN ENGLISH?
Some of those words voted by my students as the most beautiful sounding words included:
HOUSEWIFE
CAULIFLOWER
WASHING-MACHINE
SUNFLOWER
BUTTERFLY
GALAXY
ETERNITY
ELIXIR
FANTASTIC
GLAMOUR
TALISMAN
SWEETHEART….
Well, now it is the turn of the most disgusting, the ugliest, the most  repulsive and cacophonic words in English.
Subjectivity rules supreme. An attempt has been made to categorize them into semantic fields:
A) ALL 4-letter words to describe bodily functions ,generally considered TABOO: S…;S….; P…:P….; P...P; F…;F…;

B) Liquid dampness:
 MOIST
 OINTMENT
 UNCTUOUS
 PUS
 SNOT,
 PHLEGM,
 MUCUS
CURDLE
 SMEGMA,…

C) Physical actions or conditions:
 PUKE
REGURGITATE
VOMIT
BELCH
BUNION
GESTATIONAL
BLOATED
SWOLLEN
DWARF
GNOME
BORBORIGM
BOMBARDED
TESTOSTERONE
TESTICLES

D) Negative adjectives:

FILTHIEST
RANCID
SLIMEY
STUBBORN
BASTARD
GRUMPIEST
REPUGNANT
WORTHLESS
CORRUPT
FLIMSY
FETID


E) Onomatopoeic dissonance:
HONK
HORN
CHUNK
CHURNING
TREACHERY
SLAUGHTER
MOOCH/SMOOCH
CATACLYSM/ CATASPROPHE
SCAB
BAILOUTISTAN
SHENANIGANS
HOOLIGANS
HARANGUE
EXECUTIONER

F) Some ugly names and surnames:
ZURUTUZA  (Real Sociedad soccer player) MUGURUZA (tennis player)
GUARROMAN  CHICHICASTENANGO


ADD SOME MORE TO THE LISTS ABOVE

G) Which vowel or consonant sounds  are repeated in the words you dislike?

H) Create the name for a brand-new car, textbook, company.

I) WHICH LEXEME sounds "better" LOVE or AMOR?

J) Which language uses more onomatopoeia :Spanish or English?

K) Which Christian name can give you goose flesh or a shudder just to mention it, as the poet said?

l) Your least favourite sound: car alarms; chalk on the blackboard; crying, engines,etc..

M) Your least favourite word: Cool, cute, cruel(ty), haggis, NO

N) Give your original name to  :a new pop group. a new book , a new film, a new dish,...

Ñ) COÑO!"#@¬&=Bloody hell WTF! Damn it!