Memoir writings

( This unit on Memoirs would not have been possible without Norma Kira Masip´s encouragement and help)

Memoir or Autobiography?

In some general contexts, memoir and autobiography can be used interchangeably. 
 In fact, Amazon.com puts them in the same category.  But there’s a key difference that publishers use to define each—the timeline covered in the writing: 

Both are based in truth.  
Both are highly marketable in the publishing world. 
Both use the First person:  Voice/Account of life’s details/facets.  
And both require research, phone interviews and trips to places you once lived, and sitting back into a comfy chair and doing some deep, focused remembering.

"History is written by the victors, but it's victims who write the memoirs." ― Carol Tavris

Generally speaking Memoirs are less formal, less encompassing, more concerned with emotional truth toward a particular section of one’s life and how it makes you feel now.

Starts anywhere and can deftly move around in time and place.

In his own memoir, Palimpsest, Gore Vidal gave his own definitions of the two genres stating, "a memoir is how one remembers one's own life, while an autobiography is history, requiring research, dates, facts double-checked."

“You don’t want a voice that simply relates facts to the reader . You want a voice that shows the reader what’s going on and puts him or her in the room with the people you’re writing about.” – Kevan Lyon in Writing a Memoir - (Show, don’t tell).

Examples of popular memoirs include Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. 


Below is a brief list of the differences:

1. Autobiography usually covers the author’s entire life up to the point of writing, while memoir focuses only on parts of the author’s life.

2. In autobiography, authors usually tell their life stories because they are famous and important. A memoirist can be anybody, famous or not.

3. People read autobiographies because they want to know about a particular (probably famous) person (detailed chronology, events, places, reactions, movements and any other relevant information that inhabited the life of the subject). They read memoirs because they are interested in a certain subject or story or they are drawn to the writer’s style or voice or philosophy.

4. Autobiographies tend to be written in chronological order, while memoirs often move back and forth in time.

5. Autobiography places greater emphasis on facts and how the writer fits into the historical record (focused on facts -  fact, above all, is its foundation), while memoir emphasizes personal experience and interiority. The facts matter in memoir, but it’s understood that memoirists select and shape the facts of their lives to explore their chosen theme which becomes a narrative. 

https://www.liferichpublishing.com/AuthorResources/Nonfiction/Differences-Between-Memoir-AutoBiography.aspx

https://bookriot.com/2018/11/27/difference-between-memoir-and-autobiography/

https://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/memoir-vs-autobiography-2

https://www.authorlearningcenter.com/writing/i-have-an-idea/w/choosing-your-topic/6397/the-differences-between-memoir-autobiography-and-biography---article.  Information harvested from the web, nkk, Aug. 2019

HOW TO WRITE A MEMOIR: DO'S AND DON'TS

Memoirs are among the most powerful books on the market in terms of their ability to positively affect their readers. The basis of memoir writing lies in an author with a story worth telling, whether about an accomplishment or struggle.

But while memoir authors often have many life lessons to share, it’s important that they don’t stray into the more prescriptive world of self-help writing.

Follow these do’s and don’ts, and you’ll be well on your way to writing a memoir that can compete toe-to-toe with the best on the market. 

Tell a Story

DO THIS: Establish a story arc*. Even though it’s a story about your life, it still has to have some of the elements and structure of fiction to make it compelling. Consider how you will tell your story based on what elements you’re trying to emphasize. Remember, you still need character development, a compelling struggle**, and a resolution.

NOT THIS: Include every detail of your life in your memoir. If you’re focusing on your relationship with your siblings, don’t put unnecessary details in about your college years or your European vacation with friends unless it relates directly to the story.

Show Don't Tell

DO THIS: The inspiration needs to come from the story. If you’re writing an inspirational memoir, it’s the story, the characters, and the action that should incite emotion. When you read an amazing memoir, it’s not uplifting because the author is telling you it is; the inspiring nature of the book is written into the story.

NOT THIS: Tell the reader why the story is inspiring. Don’t say things like, “In overcoming my illness, I finally realized how strong I was.” Show your readers how you felt, and let them infer from your storytelling the lessons you learned. This is an important distinction between self-help and memoir, and a key place where authors unintentionally blend the two.

Highlight What's Unique

DO THIS: Find your hook and emphasize an element of your story that makes it unique and marketable. Telling about your struggle isn’t enough. Research comparable titles and figure out an angle for your book that is new and different from what is already out there.

NOT THIS: Write a very broad book about overcoming a difficult situation. For example, instead of a book about addiction, write a book about beating alcoholism with your supportive, madcap Southern family at your side.

Based on Green Leaf Book Group

*We’ll study the ARC process early on…

** a compelling struggle: Here ‘’struggle’’ can be viewed as meaning the focus of your core topic like: Visiting my brother in 1972.  Don’t take the word in its literal meaning.

                                             A CRITIQUE SESSION

Juxtaposing Critique & Criticism helps us stay on track!

Critique	Criticism
Caring	Blaming
Constructive	Destructive
Empowering (more )	Belittling (less)
Focus on Positive (Inspires growth and learning)	Focus on Negative  (Leads to dead-end)
Wide scope	Narrow scope
Open to possibilities	Closed
Objective	Subjective (personal)
General application	Personal application
Networking/Exploration	One narrow track focus
Creative	Dulling/Castrating
Broadening Self & others	Confining/boxing in
Flexible	Rigid
We want to hear more!	We don’t want to hear any more!
WE FEEL GOOD!	WE FEEL BAD!

Why Your Past Matters   Source: Antonioguillem / Adobe Stock Tina Gilbertson LPC, BC-TMH

Constructive Wallowing

The earlier parts of your life story have an impact on the outcome.  Every once in a while, something in my life goes badly enough that I wish I’d known at the time what I know now, so I could go back and do things differently.

But then I ask myself, ‘If there were a way to travel back in time, would I actually re-live the entire day just to fix that one thing?’ The answer is almost always No. Usually it just doesn’t seem worth it.  Dwelling on the past is something many Americans don’t like to do; we’re eager to wipe the slate clean and start fresh on a path toward a tomorrow we hope will be brighter than yesterday.

But pushing forward without a backward glance can be hazardous to our mental health. Let me give you four reasons.

First, to paraphrase the philosopher George Santayana, if we don’t take time to reflect on our behavior, we may unwittingly repeat it. This is true for other people’s actions as well as our own; if we don’t think about how badly we were treated, and make choices about what to do to protect ourselves next time, we’re vulnerable to being treated that way again.  We must remember to press “Pause” to intentionally focus on the past, because how often we pause and how deeply we reflect directly affects our destiny. If life is an exam, that’s how to study for it.

A second danger in the “out with the old, in with the new” worldview is that we don’t get a chance to heal. We end up going through life at less than full capacity. Imagine if you broke a bone and then, not wanting to dwell on the injury, went out and played rugby the next day. How well do you think that would go for you and your broken bone?  It’s a ridiculous thing to do, yet people do it all the time with wounds that aren’t physical. Instead of constructively wallowing in the bad stuff that happens to us, we try to shake off an upset as soon as possible so we can “get past it.”

Getting past an emotional injury is like getting past winter; the only way past it is through it.  Emotional injuries need time-outs, just as physical injuries do. We can’t process emotional wounds if we’re busy focusing on the future, trying to shove aside any thoughts about the bad stuff that happened “back then” (or yesterday).

Third, racing toward the future at the expense of reflecting on the past robs us of our identity. We’re made up of DNA and time. Our genes appear to determine much about our personalities, but the events and people that populate our lives, and how we respond to them, create the rest of our uniqueness.

When we honor the influence of our personal history, we benefit from the lessons that have shaped who we are.

Fourth, emotional maturity requires that we acknowledge where we’ve been by pondering the past. We’re only as old inside as the wounded child who sustained our oldest hurts – neglect, ridicule, criticism, sexual abuse, etc. If we hide our personal history from ourselves by insisting on focusing at all times on the present and/or the future, we can’t help that child heal and grow into the adult we’re meant to become.

Our entire life story, not just where we’re going but where we’ve been, deserves our curiosity and attention.   I’m not saying we should live in the past, only that it’s far too valuable to be relegated to the dust heap.

56 Memoir Topics:  Which of these have been important in your life?

1.       being a parent 2.      your parents 3.      your grandparent 4.      a sister or brother 5.      a sport or game that's been important to you 6.      gardening 7.      a trip you took 8.     a particular job 9.      your career 10.  something you collect 11.   an unusual talent 12.  dieting or fitness 13.  your cultural heritage 14.  a romance 15.   marriage 16.  divorce 17.   farming 18.  your relationship to nature 19.  a school you went to 20. your college or university 21.  summer camp 22. your house 23. a pet 24. an illness 25.  a disability 26. an accident 27.  an addiction 28. the death of someone close to you 29. childhood

30. adolescence 31.  becoming an adult 32. middle age 33. old age 34. a book or movie that changed your life 35.  a work of art that changed your life 36. a teacher or mentor 37.  an important friendship 38. a spiritual or religious experience 39. a change in your economic situation 40. a decision to change some aspect of your life 41.  a place where you lived 42. a place that was special to you 43. a move to a new place 44. another major life change 45.  the effect of war on your life 46. another historical event that impacted your life 47.  food 48. chores 49. a dangerous situation you survived 50. something you did to help others 51.   military service 52.  something you accomplished 53.  a topic you research as a hobby 54.  discrimination you have faced 55.  someone who was a great inspiration to you 56.  a mission or quest