some HEADY HEADLINES

I still recall the puzzle of some newspaper headlines:

WOMEN MAN WINNING YACHT
DOG IN WELL DRAMA: NEW RESCUE ATTEMPT TODAY
P.M. MOVES TO CUT DOWN EXPENDITURE
NEWTOWN WIFE TO BE STRANGLED
HOME SECRETARY UNDER FIRE AGAIN
BAD TEACHERS FACE SACK 
EX-TROOPS CALLED UP TO DISCIPLINE PUPILS (Daily Mail FEBRUARY 26 2011)
EGG TALKS: AGRICULTURAL ADVISERS MEET
GVT HINTS AT RATIONS AS OIL SINKS
RUSH TO SUN ENDS IN JAMS
CHURCHES VICTIMS OF ART RINGS
FIRST LADY DROPS A BRICK
NEW FLYOVER SPEEDS TRAFFIC FLOW
ALL OCTOBER RAINFALL RECORDS BROKEN
HOUSEWIVES HIT BY DEARER LOAF
FISH TALKS TOMORROW
SPENDING SPREE DESPITE GLOOM
EUROMANIA HAUNTS LANGUAGE OF FOOD
A CURE FOR CANCER
EGG ON HIS FACE
OAP´S SCOOP $IM ON POOLS
CHIPS ARE DOWN FOR JOBS
CHAUVINIST HUSBAND DIVORCED
CAUGHT RED-HANDED
CAVE RESCUE
BAN ON MIGRANT CHEATS
BOTTOM-PINCHER OWNED UP AFTER WRONG MAN HELD
RETURN BY EAR MAIL
P.M. TO VISIT THE ROCK
BRITONS PUT HIGHER VALUE ON LEISURE THAN WORK
US SNUBS BRITAIN
EASTWOOD SPLITS FROM HIS SECOND WIFE
HOLY GUACAMOLE!
HEANEY, THE HUMBLE HEART-THROB OF POETRY
NHS RECRUITS THOUSANDS OF DOCTORS FROM THIRD WORLD
HIGH TIME BRITAIN STOPPED BEING UNCLE SAM´S POODLE (Daily Mail 31 Aug 2013)

Sometimes we may come across some amusing headlines:

PUERTO RICAN TEEN NAMED MISTRESS OF THE UNIVERSE

MAN ACCUSED OF KILLING LAWYER RECEIVES A NEW ATTORNEY

ARMY VEHICLE DISAPPEARS

FEDERAL AGENTS RAID GUN SHOP, FIND WEAPONS

STARVATION CAN LEAD TO HEALTH HAZARDS

MIRACLE CURE KILLS FIFTH PATIENT

MEAT HEAD RESIGNS

BARBERSHOP SINGERS BRING JOY TO SCHOOL FOR DEAF

HOMICIDE VICTIMS RARELY TALK TO POLICE

HOSPITALS RESORT TO HIRING DOCTORS

STATISTICS SHOW THAT TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS OFF SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE 25

PARENTS KEEP KIDS HOME TO PROTEST SCHOOL CLOSURE

 

See if you can make sense out of the following headlines:

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