NOTHING IS AS STRANGE AS REALITY (oxymorons)

Perhaps it might be the wheel of fortune or the inevitable ascent up the social ladder but I´ve seen:

 

THE POACHER WHO TURNED GAMEKEEPER

THE ARSONIST........................... FIREMAN

THE CLEPTOMANIAC...............SECURITY GUARD

THE THIEF..................................COP

THE CHILD ABUSER.................PRIEST

THE DUNCE ...............................TEACHER

THE SNE STUDENT...................PROFESSOR

THE OFFENDER........................JUDGE

THE TRAMP...............................MOGUL

THE BEGGAR............................BANKER

THE ILLITERATE MAN...........WRITER

THE WHORE.............................NUN (The holy courtesan)

THE PIRATE.............................STATESMAN

THE MAID/SERVANT.............LADY

THE VICTIM............................EXECUTIONER

THE LIBERTINE.....................MORALIST

THE HOMOPHOBE................GAY

THE DRUG ADDICT..............SOBER

THE SQUATTER....................LANDLORD

THE YOUNG CHILD..............OLD(progeria)

THE SPIRITUAL MASTER....SERIAL KILLER (BILBAO MURDERS)

Our dichotomies and contradictions

BODY & SOUL

MIND & BODY

BODY & SPIRIT

BRAIN v. BRAWN

MENTAL & PHYSICAL

HEAD & HEART

MATTER & SPIRIT

NATURE v NURTURE

ACTION v CONTEMPLATION

ANGELS & DEMONS

INTELLIGENCE, FEELING & WILLINGNESS

ID,EGO & SUPEREGO

SELF v SOCIETY v NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

MEDITATION v PRAYER

CONSCIOUS v. UNCONSCIOUS v SUBCONSCIOUS

THEOLOGY v PHILOSOPHY

taboos and euphemism

Instead of saying the taboo, it is politically correct to use the x- word.

Can you guess what these P.C. terms may refer to?

 

The "n" word...........

the "f" word.............

the "b" word...........

the "c" word...........

the "l" word..........

the"g" word..........

the"h"word..........

the"j" word.........

the"k" word.......

the"m" word.......

the"p" word........

the"q"word........

the"r" word........

the"t" word.........

the"v" word.......

the"w" word......

the"y"word........    yid

the"z"word.......    Zionist

 

PUNS/ pedantically Paronomasia/See Homophones (oronyms)

I don´t know how much your people enjoy such sights
I don´t know how mature people enjoy such sights

I´d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Innuendo........ In your window

Reading is allowed in the library
Reading is aloud in the library

The stuff he knows can lead to problems
The stuffy nose can lead to problems

The good can decay many ways
The good candy came anyways

He drank so much he fell into oblivion
He drank so much, he fell into a Bolivian.

A new deal......... a nude eel

Grey tape...........great ape

watermelon........guatemalan

Moustache.......must ask

In Spanish: iba riendo/ y barriendo; está blando/ está hablando;
¿Será posible que un día yo vuelva a amarte?  -Y ¿Cuando has estado tú en Marte?

REBUSES

A rebus has been defined as a puzzle in which a word or phrase has to be guessed from pictures or diagrams that suggest the syllables that make it.

Gem in eye.......Gemini
A bomb in a bull..........abominable
Ring Go Star..............Ringo Star
Car lab Rooney..........Carla Bruni
British Knee spears.......Britney Spears
Rob bee William  ..........Robbie William
Aim Wine House..........Amy Winehouse
Paris Hill Ton...............Paris Hilton
Eye deer.....................idea
Cab in net..................cabinet
oar fan......................orphan
climb eight.................climate
ten ants.....................tenants
loo pin......................lupin
dam pen..................dampen
deep end.................depend
mat aerial................material
monk key...............monkey
dog mat eyes..........dogmatize
n gin ear.................engineer
pear rent................parent
can o´peas............canopies
germ-in eight.........germinate
cat alan ................catalan
knee gate..............negate
ma bull.................marble
crew see bull........crucible
bar king...............barking
loo king..............looking
bus king.............busking
Miss sing...........missing

TRIPLES, TRINOMIALS

WRITE THE MISSING ELEMENT IN THE SEQUENCE:

HOOK,LINE AND............

LOCK,STOCK AND .................

PAST,PRESENT AND...............

TOM, DICK AND....................

EAR,NOSE AND....................

KNIFE, FORK AND................

MIND, BODY AND..................

HERE, THERE AND................

BEWITCHED,BOTHERED AND......................

HOOK,LINE AND...........................

DAYS, MONTHS AND....................

READY,WILLING AND ...................

MAN, WOMAN AND........................

MASCULINE, FEMININE AND ...............

LIBERTY, EQUALITY AND........................

HEALTHY,WEALTHY AND.........................

ANIMAL, VEGETAL AND..........................

LEFT, RIGHT AND.....................................

ROCK, PAPER AND.....................................

RED, WHITE AND........................................

COOL, CALM AND.....................................

FAITH, HOPE AND...................................

IRREVERSIBLE BINOMIALS-JUST PAIRS-

FINISH OFF THE FOLLOWING WELL-KNOWN PHRASES:

HANSEL & .............                              BLACK &............

ROMEO &..............                               LAW & .............

VICTORIA &...........                              RULES &.....................

SAMSON &...............                             PEACE &..............

TROILUS & ..............                             ODDS &...............

NAPOLEON &..............                          GIVE & ..............

CAESAR &....................                          PART &...............

DAVID &........................                          SAFE &...............

LANCELOT &.................                        WINE &..............

TRISTAN &....................                          LEAPS &............

ABELARD &...................                          FIRST &.............

ORPHEUS &...................                          HERE &.............

ODYSSEUS &.................                          ON & ...........

DIDO & .........................                            TO & ..........

ZEUS &...........................                            SINK OR...........

OBERON &...................                             SOONER OR...........

DON QUIJOTE &...................                   MORE OR..............

STANLEY &.......................                         TAKE IT OR................

PELLEAS &.......................                           CHICKEN OR.............

FOOD PAIRS : STEAK &

                             OIL &

                             BREAD &

                              HAM & 

                               SALT &

                               APPLES &

                                SUGAR &

                               BACON &

                                SAUSAGE &

                                LIVER &