TOP 10 NEW YEAR´S RESOLUTIONS

I WILL...........

LOSE WEIGHT

SPEND LESS

SAVE MORE

ENJOY LIFE

KEEP FIT AND HEALTHY

LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

HELP OTHERS

STOP DRINKING/SMOKING

BE MORE ASSERTIVE

FALL IN LOVE

THEREFORE

I WILL NOT..........

haikus

Try making up your own haikus as below:

Ferocious tiger
lies silently watching prey
food chain continues

Romeo and Juliet
early blooming of their love
a poisoned flower

Crimson leaves falling
bleeding slowly to the ground
Death of the year

Tapping my way home
waiting for God´s bright grace
my eyes without sight

Killing is routine
Trapped between light and shadow
Courage keeps living.

What is there up high?
Is it really the blue sky?
or something further?

The onion is frost
frost of your days
and of my nights

Give a possible title to the above haikus . Create one on the subjects of: Spring, rain, dreams, horizon, winds, summer,etc..

LIMERICKS

IN SPAIN WE GET PLENTY OF SUN

BUT SKIN CANCER JUST ISNT MUCH FUN

SO TRY TO REMEMBER 

FROM MAY TO SEPTEMBER

THAT AFTER TEN MINUTES YOU´RE DONE

THERE WAS A BAR OWNER IN NERJA

WHOSE WIFE WAS A VERY BAD WORKER

BUT HE WAS THE KIND

THAT SAT THERE AND WHINED

SO SHE KICKED OUT THE LAZY OLD SHIRKER

SEÑOR JUAN FROM THE VILLAGE OF MARO

TOOK HIS DONKEY TO WORK IN A BARROW

THE WHOLE CAMPO LAUGHED

AS THEY KNEW IT WAS DAFT

FOR THE GATE TO HIS FIELD WAS TOO NARROW

A GIRL FROM TORROX,MARÍA
TRIED DRIVING THE NEW AUTOVÍA
SHE GOT CARRIED AWAY
AND HEARD HERSELF SAY
"OH,MY GOD ,I´VE REACHED ALMERÍA"

PARAPROSDOKIANS

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the laatter part of a sentence is surprising or unexpected, frequently used for humorous effects(See creative proverbs, regressio,hipalage..)

Ex: WHERE THERE IS A WILL I WANT TO BE IN IT

"IF I AGREED WITH YOU, THEN WE´D BOTH BE WRONG"

 

"WAR DOES NOT DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT-ONLY WHO IS LEFT"

"WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP,WE ONLY LEARN HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC"

" TO STEAL IDEAS FROM ONE PERSON IS PLAGIARISM.TO STEAL FROM MANY IS RESEARCH"

THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS HURT YOU .BUT IT´S STILL ON MY LIST

LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND.THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

EVENING NEWS IS WHERE THEY BEGIN WITH "GOOD EVENING" AND THEN PROCEED TO TELL YOU WHY IT IS NOT.

 

(Find other examples of paraprosdokians on the web or try to invent one yoursef)

 

 

 

onomatomaniac onomatopoeia

 

GL light: GLINT; GLASS;GLOOM;GLIMMER;GLANCE;GLEAM;GLOW;GLUM;GLEAN,etc..
BL obstruction: BLOCK;BLACK;BLOW;BLOAT;BLIMP,etc..
GR anger:GROWL;GROAN;GRUMPY,ANGRY,etc.
S sounds:BASH,SLAM;SMASH;CRASH;SQUEAL;SQEAK;SQUELCH;SPLASH,SWISH,etc..
More sounds:BANG,KNOCK,CRUSH;DRUM,DRIP,HICCOUGH;CROAK;BUZZ,etc...
Identify the animal:MEOW,WOOF-WOOF,BAA,BRAY;TWEET,COCK-A-DOODLE-DO,MOO,..

DUPLICATES:

Ting-a ling

Tick-Tock

Ding-Dong

Bow-wow

Lovey-dovey

hurly-burly

hocus-pocus

silly-billy

namby-pamby

wishy-washy

nitty-gritty

boogy-woogy.

See Alliteration

life: our ten ills: The 10 ages of man

SPILLS
DRILLS
SKILLS
THRILLS
FRILLS
CHILLS
BILLS
ILLS
PILLS
WILLS

GIVING LIFE TO INANIMATE OBJECTS

TRY TO WRITE AN IMAGINATIVE COMPOSITION FROM THE STANDPOINT OF SOMETHING WHOSE VOICE CANNOT BE HEARD:
I AM A TREE AND I FEEL QUITE LONELY...
I AM THE FLY STUCK TO THE WINDOW PANE..
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF I AM THE COW...