The many stages of both Language and Life learnings

"Hope is the only feeling which is not ours" Julio Cortazar

In between willful ignorance and complete fluency there are many stages( well over 50) both in learning a new language and life´s lessons:

HOPEFUL  versus HOPELESS

You usually start learning with a positive attitude 

OPTIMISTIC 

a dream life 

 ENTHUSIASM   

OVEREXCITEMENT 

 PRIDE

obsession 

NEUROSES  

LIMBO 

PURGATORY

 OCD 

PROCRASTINATION 

 DISCOMFORT 

 MISCONCEPTIONS

DELUSION 

SHYNESS 

1ST RETURN TO REALITY  

TEARS of joy 

Tears of pain 

Tears of frustration 

Tears of anger 

Tears for fears  

Anger 

Denial 

Overwhelmed by lack of understanding 

More frustration 

Stagnancy 

 Little Progress in the Process 

Stress

Demotivation

 Indifference

 Pulling Yoursef Together 

Argumentative 

Revelation 

Epiphany

Perfectionist 

Elation 

Anticipation

 Return to Reality II

Pride II

Great Mood 

 Ideal

Triumph 

Success 

Fluency

 Embarrassment? 

Foregetfulness? 

 Alzheimer´s?

Schizophrenia? 

Back to black/ to square one 

More willful ignorance?

This may not be a unit but it WORKS

THIS MAY NOT BE A DIDACTIC UNIT BUT IT WORKS….

(Inspiration for these activities was drawn from Kerry Smith´s books “Mess”, “Wreck this journal” and “This is not a book”)

Plagiarism, Copying or “intertextuality”- whatever the name you prefer is absolutely harmless in a profession where we need the creativity of our fellow human beings to guide us. Remember that the best method is the one which best suits both your students and your own changing personalities.

I´ve embarked on my teaching adventures with new ideas every time I face the class .I´ve treated the classroom as a place to experiment so we have to trust in our students´ imaginations. Imagination is the real source of all true journeys as nearly anything can happen in your mind´s eye.

1)    DOODLE on Just start drawing a landscape, a house, a tree, the sun, a car , a snake, geometrical figures (Projective psychology interpretations)( Sai is a wonderful artist)

2)    Add some imagery to your blank page. Just take a break anywhere. We´ll guess where you are…

3)    Do not try to make something beautiful. Draw a real UGLY monster to frighten us.

4)    FIRST PAGE TO BE WRITTEN IN LETTERS AS BIG AS POSSIBLE

In the opposite page write in as small characters as possible

5)    Plant your ideas and see how they develop and grow.

6)    Write a brief insult in Spanish and then find an English equivalent. Be original. Never take it to heart

7)    This is a disappearance act: Draw or write something in pencil. Erase it and let the others try to guess what was there.

8)    Draw Nothing. Think of Nothing. How many examples of “nothing” can you think of?

9)    Your secret identity: Who would you like to be? Invent a name, place and date of birth, a profession, hobbies, etc..

10)                     You have to find five items: a palindrome, a secret code, the definition of a word you don´t know, something with a circle on it, a piece of thread.

11)                     Express a thought or a comment, write it on a piece of paper and leave it in a public place.

12)                     Draw the moon and the sun. Which one is male or female?

13)                     Disclose a secret you once had/ still have.

14)                     Describe your very own imaginary planet.

15)                     An ethnographic study. Pretend you are an alien visiting your school and take notes about human customs and behavior as if you´ve never seen them before.

16)                     Wear an article of clothing inside out, back to front or upside down. See how long it takes your colleagues to notice.

17)                     Create  a detailed treasure map

18)                     A research project. Find out more about any random subject. Write down any facts you find on Wikipedia and become an expert overnight.Exs: vexilology,enology, phrenology,etc..

19)                     This page is a guest registry. Your comments are most welcome.

 20)                     Write the script for your own TV show.

 21)                     Your very personal bucket list: Write TEN things you would like to try in your lifetime.

22)                     Write three wishes.

 23)                     Write a map of your own hands. Learn the basics of hand reading and interpreting.

24)                     Your current predominant MOOD is one of:………

25)                     Your predominant PERSONALITY traits are………..

 26)                     Where do you see yourself in 5/10/15/20 years?

 27)                     Leave something personal (of yours) in a secret location either at home or in the classroom. We´ll have to guess where it is

 28)                     What one believes is entirely up to oneself  create your own belief system

 29)         The seven wonder of You Tube videos,in your opinion 

30)     Create a series of chance names or words. By using a dictionary try combining different words together to create new ones.Ex. gavilancejo,.

31) See who can last the longest without their mobile phones: for two hours/days/ weeks/ months/even years?

32) Nulla die sine linea. This day will never happen again.Document its passing in ten sentences, just this very moment in time.

33) Your mission this time is to learn the rudiments of papiroflexia: see if you can make a paper boat, a little bird, a hat, etc.. 

34) If you could be anywhere you want right now, where would it be?

35) Your personal inventory: Make a list of all the items you own.

36)Your  themed birthday celebration We create a homemade celebration using whatever we have around us: a festive meal, dish or dessert. We play the music we like, invite friends and decorate the venue(our classroom)

37)  You are the world leader. If I could rule the world I would make the following changes:   

38) Make up a very long sentence.See who can come up with the longest

39) THIS IS A RANDOM ADVENTURE. Go outside. Walk until you see another human being/ something plastic/.. TAKE FIVE STEPS BACK Report back what you have seen in as much detail as possible.

40) Become a dream catcher.Write down a dream immediately after waking up. 

41) This is YOUR SCHOOL .Describe your ideal field trips, alternative curricula, guest speakers, activities, etc.. 

42) This is a sensory Stimulation Unit. Collect five objects, one for each sense: Hearing Sight Taste Smell Touch. 

43) This is an outlet, an opportunity to let off steam. Vent about the things that are bothering you right now, scribble them uncontrollably.

44) You are a sculptor. Create a three- dimensional object, give it a name and exhibit it somewhere famous. 

45) Create your own currency to start your own economy and barter system. Draw your own version of money. Official currency of Mr...This note may not be legal tender but it is still valuable nonetheless. 

46) A special kit for attending boring events. Draw a funny face. Make a word soup which includes: Boring, uneventful, dull, banal, lifeless, unexciting, dry, stale, mundane, tired, lackluster, stupid, absurd. 

47)A mirror creates a self portrait. Document the things that define you. Write about them(clothing, food, hobbies,etc..)

48) Your magic collection.Write about your unusual collection. 

49) You visit a fortune teller who will only answer YES/NO/MAYBE 

50) How do you imagine a parallel universe in which everything was the opposite of what it is now? 

51) This is your stream of consciousness: What are you thinking about right now?.......   ..........   ..........   ..........    ..........   ...

52) Record an overheard conversation as if you were a journalist 

53) Transform and recycle some garbage from the wastepaperbasket or the bin.

54) List at least five sounds you can hear right now. 

55) It´s time to say farewel to the time you spent on this planet. Make a list of things you enjoyed while living here/about being here. 

56) A confession. Just mention three sins/ MISTAKES/accidents.

57) While drawing a line have someone bump into you.Try to draw the straight line in a car, on a bus/ train.Register date, time and location 

58) Just break one school rule for one minute.Which one would it be?

59) Do not try to draw a beautiful figure.Do not think too much and continue under all circumstances 

60) How many simultaneous activities can you do? EX.: listen, eat and dream;...

61) Go on an adventurous journey with no money and no matter where. Describe it briefly 

62) The tree of friendship.Draw a huge tree, its branches are your closest friends, the twigs and leaves are some of your acquaintances.

63) This is a short attention span exercise: In a twelve-square grid do something in each square which lasts for only five seconds.  

64) Language awareness Field trip.Go out into the real world. Find examples of written messages in English, German, French, Chinese .

65) Psychological Mess. Get comfortable, make yourself comfy.Make a list of all your current problems.Think about how many of them will be important in two years from now. 

66) Draw an explosion and write the first word you can think of. 

67) How do you make someone smile? A joke, a funny face,an emoticon

68) I ´m standing up for Human  and Animal rights/to save the whales/to reduce plastic/ to say no to Child Labour/..What do you stand for or against? 

69) Test how green you are both at home and at school. Do you recycle? Are you a composter? Are you a critical shopper? Solar power?

70) Let´s be friendly in sign language all the time. 

71) Find out about these parties and festivals: Cheese-rolling in Gloucester, Baby-jumping festival in Castrillo de Murcia, Tomato fight, World pillow-fighting Championships, Alien Festival in Roswell New Mexico, Vesak; Pesach, Raksha Bandhan, Monkey Buffet,etc..

72)Add your WHY question here. 

73)Love where you live. You live in an ideal neighbourhood. Describe it.

74) Teach me to text quickly the way you do it. GR8 KUTGW TYVM LOL

75) We make over 200 choices every day. Try to identify at least ten. 

76) The mistakes I´ve learned from. Remember C.Columbus or J.Pemberton, the pharmacist who created Coca-Cola. 

77) Learn about your carbon footprint and calculate your own contribution so far. 

78) Write a letter to a local politician complaining about a problem you have recently had. 

79) Recycle your toys.Love them and set them free by swapping or giving them for charity. 

80) We are what we do/eat/listen to/ watch/..What else are we? 

81) Involve everyone in the class in choosing the contents of a time capsule 2018. 

82) Add your own action by finishing this sentence: "I´d like one million people to............................................................." 

83) Find out about the Time Bank and the Aldridge Foundation. 

84) Finish the following famous motto in any meaningful way: KEEP CALM and .......Carry on/ Study/ Change/ Love/ Do abs/ Lose weight 

85) Become a market trader and shout out loud your wares.Ex: Strawberries 2 pounds; Come and try . Apples two euros a basket. 

86) You mock/FAKE suicide note after a project reading Macbeth Ex:"I´m really, really sorry.Joy does not exist. I´m haunted by the vivid memories of killings, corpses, anger and pain" 

87) On being LATE/FUL/ AD/ TEN/END: Play with words as in this activity Exs: chocolate,adulate,deflate, desolate,emulate,inflate, insulate, isolate,modulate,regulate, template,violate,ululate,etc..

88) Find everyday metaphors and guess what they mean.Ex: have gone over the rainbow bridge; recharge your batteries; his/her heart is on fire; happy=up; sad=down; his pain/wound has not healed/has left scars, etc..

89) Word Morph/ Worder/ Word order. By changing or omitting one single letter you can change the message beyond recognition: Ex.: Live, Laugh,Love/Lose; Mad in Spain v. Made in Spain;War is Hell v. War is swell;Public affair v.Pubic affair; Smiling faces v. smiling feces.In Spanish Policía local v. Policía loca 

90) What You think you are like  versus what you ARE actually like. In an envelope each one is going to write the most outstanding positive and negative traits of all the ones involved. Good writing and psychological exercise to describe character. 

91) Your top ten (highly addictive) video games. 

92) Laws, Effects and Syndromes Exs:  The Law of Gravity, The Law of Probability, Murphy´s law; The Halo effect, the peacock effect, the Doppler.. Down´ Syndrome, Ret´s , Turner´, Klinefelter´; Hallervorden Spatz´,.Find 5 more 

93) Your knowledge of saucy language and traditional bawdy poems.Ex: When in doubt nipples out; It´s not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean; A dirty book is rarely dusty ( Benjamin Franklin);...Find one more example. 

94) Become a pathological LIAR for an hour.Exs: I never got your message, The doctors just give me one week to live, The president just got shot, Your daddy is not your biological father, My family have disowned me, I was fired for stealing... 

95) How memorable and fascinating is your everyday conversation? Find out by writing down everything you say and highlight your best exchanges.

96) Try out all major religions and see which is best for you: Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, Atheism, Paganism, Christianity, Communism,etc..Find 5 more religious creeds and sects. 

97)One more daily challenge: Send a message in a bottle. Choose the appropriate content which might be revealed decades from now. 

98) Become an organ/ blood donor. What organs can you donate?  Remember one single body can help 100 other people. Exs: Cornea, lungs, heart, kidneys, liver,..

99) Share someone´s pain today as a burden shared is a burden halved. Find a family member or friend in distress and bear some of their grief. Shared joy will double.

100) Become mainstream. Make sure your tastes and actions do not clash with those of 95% of the population as regards to clothes, music, hobbies, politics, sport, TV, dreams,...

             

Down under? New Zealand versus Australian culture

This is just a short cultural unit to identify the cultural elements of either New Zealand or Australia or BOTH.

MAORIES

 WELLINGTON 

BOOMERANGS 

THE LAND OF THE LONG WHITE CLOUD

 WALTZING MATILDA 

AUCKLAND 

CANBERRA 

RUSSELL CROWE 

OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN 

HAKA 

FOSTER´S 

THE LORD OF THE RINGS 

VEGEMITE 

SHEEP 

 LAMB

ALL BLACKS 

CHRISTCHURCH

 KIWI (ANIMAL) 

KIWIS (People)

KIWIFRUIT

AYER´S ROCK 

ABORIGENES 

ERNEST RUTHERFORD 

KOALA

 ROTORUA 

ABEL TASMAN 

MOUNT COOK

 ALBATROSS 

CARVED MASK 

MUD POOLS 

FRANZ JOSEPH GLACIER 

MERINO RAM

 CEREMONIAL CANOE 

QUEENSTOWN 

CHRISTCHURCH 

KAURI 

SNOWBOARD  

WALLABY

 RUGBY 

SILVER FERN 

FANTAIL 

MILFORD SOUND 

PUKEKO 

RAINBOW TROUT 

MOTUROA 

ANZAC

 SEAL 

GEYSER 

WANAKA 

PUNT 

CHAMPAGNE POOLS 

WHALE 

MITRE PEAK 

TEKAPO 

PENGUIN 

TUI 

POHUTUKAWA 

PUNATAIKI

 KOWHAI 

KOOKABURRA 

CROCODILE 

WOMBAT 

PLATYPUS 

DIDGERIDOO 

TATTOING 

POLYNESIA 

COMMONWEALTH 

AUSSIES 

MULLUMBIMBY

NAME,NAME our school game

NAME, NAME,NAME..OUR SCHOOL GAME. (The game of the names/nouns)

This is a hybrid game-like activity halfway between Outburst and Family Fortunes.
 The teacher is the Question Master but instead of asking general knowledge questions, s/he asks their students questions like the ones below; having previously organized the class in different groups. The winner is obviously the team with most valid answers after 15 rounds. The aim is both to increase your students´ vocabulary and to practise different types of relative clauses.

 Minimum answer is 5 items for each category.

 For instance and only as an example:

 0)  NAME THINGS THAT ARE YELLOW: The sun, sunflowers, canaries, No parking lines, Custard, Spanish post-boxes (Use all the remaining primary colours)

1) SALTY THINGS:

2) THINGS YOU WASH FREQUENTLY:

3) THINGS YOU CATCH:

4) THINGS YOU DO IN THE MORNING:

5) Things MADE OF WOOD/ METAL/ PLASTIC/ GLASS/ ELASTIC/ LEATHER/ ALUMINIUM/ IRON:

6) THINGS IN A HAIRDRESSER´S/ BANK / CLASSROOM/ AN AIRPORT/ LIBRARY/ KITCHEN/GARAGE:

7) THINGS TO SEE IN ROME/NEW YORK/MADRID/PARIS/LONDON / BARCELONA/ MÁLAGA…:

8) THINGS YOU BLOW/ PICK/ PICK UP/ CAN DESTROY/

9) THINGS THAT GO UP/ DOWN/ RING/

10) THINGS THAT ARE READ /  STICKY/ SOFT / PURE /

11) THINGS THAT YOU PUT IN TEA/MILK/ water

12) THINGS THAT COME IN A PACK

13) THINGS A WOMAN/MAN PUTS ON HER/ HIS FACE

14) THINGS YOU CAN BUY FROM A VENDING MACHINE

15) THINGS WITH HORNS/ KEYS/ GLASS

16) THINGS YOU TAKE TO THE BEACH/ MOUNTAINS

17) THINGS THAT ARE HABIT FORMING

18) THINGS YOU RECOGNISE BY SMELL

19) THINGS YOU HAVE REPAIRED

20) THINGS THAT REFLECT/ STINK/ SUCK/ COST A FORTUNE

21) NAME SOMETHING CHILDREN ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT

22)  “               “                 YOU SHOULDN´T DO IN AN AEROPLANE

23) NAME SOMETHING YOU ONLY HAVE ONE OF

24)  “                “                 “    DREAM ABOUT OWNING

25)  “                  “               “    MIGHT SEE IN FRONT OF A HOUSE

26)  “                  “               “      ARE AFRAID TO TRY EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS FUN.

27)  “                  “               “      MIGHT TAKE WITH YOU ON A BICYCLE TOUR.

28) “                  “             THAT ALWAYS NEEDS FILLING UP.

29) “                  “                “  GETS SMALLER AS YOU USE IT.

30)  “                  “             you ASSOCIATE WITH A HIPPOPOTAMUS/ AN ELEPHANT/ A LION/EASTER

31)  “                 “               “  DO WHEN ALONE/ MIGHT PRACTICE and MASTER

32)  “                 “               “ IS TYPICALLY JAPANESE/FRENCH/ ENGLISH/ AMERICAN/ CHINESE/.

 33) “                   “             “ HIDE WHEN UNEXPECTED GUESTS ARRIVE

 34) “                   “             “ MIGHT KEEP YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT

 35) “                  “               THAT IS HARD TO KEEP CLEAN

36)  “                   “            YOU HANG THINGS FROM IN YOUR HOME

37)  “                  “             PEOPLE EXCHANGE

38)  “                “            THAT HAS AN AERIAL

39)  “                  “          ASSOCIATED WITH ACTING/ TV/ CINEMA/LOVE/ CHRISTMAS / THANKSGIVING

40)  “                  “           A CLOWN/ A POLICEMAN  MIGHT WEAR

41) “                 “            YOU PAY ONCE A YEAR

 42) “                 “   that begins  WITH MICRO/  MACRO/ NANO/ MINI

 43) “                “   THAT COMES IN AN AEROSOSL CAN

44)  “                “   YOU CAN ADJUST

 45) “                 “    “    MIGHT FIND IN A FRIDGE/FREEZER

46)  “                 “   “    MIGHT TEACH CHILDREN TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT

47)  “                “    “      “         FIND ON YOUR DOORSTEP/ LETTERBOX

48)  “                “    PEOPLE STOP DOING WHEN THEY BECOME ADULTS

 49)  “               “  A CRITIC MIGHT REVIEW

50) NAME SOMETHING THAT LOOKS BETTER POLISHED

 51) “                “                  “     MIGHT BE DESCRIBED AS ADORABLE

 52)“                “              HOT THAT CAN BE SERVED IN A CUP

 53) “                 “   THAT MIGHT BE SWEPT ALONG BY THE WIND

 54) “                 “      YOU FILL WITH AIR

 55) “                 “      YOU MIGHT FIND ON THE END OF A FISHING LINE/ CATCH ON A NET

 56) “                 “     PEOPLE ARE COMMONLY ALLERGIC TO

 57) “                 “            “          DRINK WHEN THEY ARE COLD

 58)  “                 “            you might buy a box of when shopping

 59)  “                   “      YOU CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE DO WHEN DRIVING

 60) “                    “     PEOPLE REMEMBER ABOUT THEIR FIRST DATE

61) NAME A CREATURE  WITH A LARGE MOUTH /NOSE/ LEG/ ARM/ HORN/ NECK…

62) NAME AN ANIMAL THAT LIVES IN A RIVER/ EATS MEAT/ LIVES ALONE/

63) NAME AN ACTIVITY DONE IN BARE FEET/ IN THE NUDE/ IN UNIFORM/THAT REQUIRES SPECIAL FOOTWEAR

64) NAME SOMEWHERE CHILDREN LIKE TO GO/  AIR CONDITIONING MAY BE FOUND/ YOU MIGHT KEEP A SPARE KEY/ YOU MIGHT SEE AN ADVERTISEMENT/ YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAND/..

65) NAME THE BEST WAY OF SHOWING SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM

66) NAME SOMEONE  WHOSE ADVICE YOU USUSALLY ACCEPT/ WHO MIGHT WEAR BIG BOOTS TO WORK/ 

67)  NAME SOME FAMOUS WOMEN IN HISTORY/

68) NAME  TYPES OF ALARM/ AGENT / PIPE/ TEST/ ACHE /  ACCOMMODATION/  CARD GAMES/ HORSES/ CATS/ DOGS

69) NAME SOMETHING NOISY/ SILENT/ BRIGHT SPARKLING/ ROUGH

70) NAME   WELL-KNOWN SONGS/FILMS / AN AUTHORITY FIGURE/ PUPPETS/ TEACHERS….

71) NAME A REASON PEOPLE RETURN GIFTS

72) NAME  TYPES OF ILLEGAL/ LEGAL  DRUGS

NAME AND SHAME is  To say publicly that a person, company, etc. has behaved in a bad or illegal way.  DO you AGREE with this?

NAME AND EXPLAIN:

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

VIRTUAL REALITY

LOW-COST

FRUGAL

CYBORG

TORTURE

GUN VIOLENCE

ZEN

DIGITAL ERA

SELF-HELP MANUAL

NAME DROPPING What is it? How common is it?

CALL SOMEONE NAMES “                  “

The name of the game/You name it/ What´s in a name?

Proverbially, YOU CAN´T,SHOULDN´T,MUSTN´T,..Modals again

                  

Proverbially YOU CAN´T/SHOULDN´T/MUSTN´T/ AREN¨T SUPPOSED TO/…MODALS in Context

…HAVE  IT  BOTH WAYS

…HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT/ EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT

…GET BLOOD/ WATER OUT OF A STONE

…MAKE AN OMELETTE WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS

…MAKE A SILK PURSE OUT OF A SOW´S EAR

…RUN WITH THE HARES AND HUNT WITH THE HOUNDS

…TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS

…TEACH YOUR GRANNY TO SUCK EGGS

…JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

…SHAKE HANDS WITH A CLENCHED FIST

…TELL WHICH WAY THE TRAIN WENT BY LOOKING AT THE TRACK

…WIN ARGUMENTS BY INTERRUPTING SPEAKERS

…HAVE A RANBOW WITHOUT RAIN
... HAVE TOO MUCH/ENOUGH OF A GOOD THING

…PICK UP TWO MELONS WITH ONE HAND

…FOOL ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME

…SIP SOUP WITH A KNIFE

…SEE THE WOOD FOR THE TREES

…SEE THE SKY THROUGH A BAMBOO TUBE

…MEASURE THE SEA WITH A SHELL

…CHEAT AN HONEST MAN

…CATCH A CUB WITHOUT GOING INTO THE TIGER´S DEN

…GET WHAT YOU WANT

…DO EVERYTHING (Life is about choices)

…PLEASE EVERYONE

…VOMIT THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE CAN

…CATCH OLD BIRDS WITH CHAFF

…DRIVE A WINDMILL WITH A PAIR OF BELLOWS

…KNOW WINE BY THE BARREL

…LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD

…MAKE PEOPLE HONEST/SOBER BY ACT OF PARLIAMENT

…SEE THE CITY FOR THE HOUSES

YOU MAY TAKE A HORSE TO WATER BUT YOU CAN´T MAKE HIM DRINK

YOU MUST LOSE A FLY TO CATCH A TROUT

CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

(MOOT POINTS)

…TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

…LEARN TO BE HAPPY

…HIDE YOUR LOVE

…HURRY LOVE

…DO THAT

…STOP THE BEAT

…BLAME EVERYONE  FOR WHATEVER HAPPENS TO TOU

…TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY

…GUESS WHO LIVES WHERE

…BREAK RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH YOUR MOBILE PHONE

…THINK STRAIGHT

…SEE CLEARLY NOW

…FLY

…BE FREE/IMMORTAL

…SING A RAINBOW

…HELP NOTICING STH

…HELP FALLING IN LOVE (WITH YOU)

…DO IT YOURSELF

…CHANGE THE WORLD/YOURSELF

…COMPLAIN ALL THE TIME

…CRITICIZE OTHERS

…TALK SO MUCH
... BEAR THE THOUGHT OF...(IT)

…DUMP YOUR PARTNER OVERNIGHT

…RECOVER YOUR UMBILICAL CORD

…HAVE A ROW WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET

…RISE AGAINST THE RULING CLASS

…BE NEGATIVE ALL DAY LONG

…MAKE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE

…TALK TO A PLANT/TV/WASHING-MACHINE

…INSULT OTHER PEOPLE´S BELIEFS

…IGNORE OTHER PEOPLE
... LOOK BACK IN ANGER
... CHANGE YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO A SOCCER CLUB
... AVOID ACCIDENTS
... AVOID MAKING MISTAKES

…WELCOME STRANGERS INTO YOUR HOME

…INVADE PEOPLE´S PERSONAL SPACE

…FORGET THAT EVENING

…SPY ON YOUR FRIENDS

…SIT IN THE LOTUS POSITION ALL DAY LONG

…CHANGE YOUR NAME

…LIE ABOUT YOUR PAST
...MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
... FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS BLINDLY
... FILL YOUR MIND WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
... LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR

…BE ENTIRELY SERIOUS
...TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY
... KEEP TWO LOVERS SIMULTANEOUSLY 
...THANK HIM/HER/THEM ENOUGH
...TAME THE BEAST FROM THE EAST
...TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE
...MISS YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH LIFE
...CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
...GET RID OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND MELODIES
...OFFEND ME!
...GET OVER THE SHOCK OF LOSING YOUR FAMILY
...LIVE OTHER PEOPLE´S LIVES
... RESIST TEMPTATION

…GLORIFY TERRORISM

…FREE YOUR MIND

…MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

…GET YOUR MONEY BACK 
...AVOID BEING CAUGHT ONCE YOU TRESPASS
... BRING WEED/HASH/POT TO SCHOOL

…FLASH THE FLESH

...STONE PEOPLE YOU DISAPPROVE OF

…PRETEND YOU ARE A DOCTOR

... STOP GLOBAL WARMING

...INVOLVE EVERYONE TO START A WAR

…BECOME A SUPERHERO

Versus  IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING

imaginary orders,nobility titles and clubs...D.D.

The Devil´s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce is a constant source of inspiration for its cynical and sardonic wit. As a teenager we set up a restricted membership club called:"The snub-nosed bitter revolutionaries", which soon fizzled out into oblivion.As Groucho Marx pointed out: "I would never belong to a club or be part of an organisation which had me as one of its members...
Let´s enumerate some of the real,royal and fictitious clubs as mentioned in A.Bierce´s Devil´s Dictionary:

Order of the Knights of Adam 

Visionaries of Delectable Bosch 

The Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes 

The league of Holy Humbug 

The Golden Phalanx of Phalangers 

The Genteel society of expurgated Hoodlums 

The Mystic Alliance of Gorgeous Regalians

 Knights and Ladies of the yellow dog 

The Oriental Order of Sons of the West 

The Blatherhood of INSUFFERABLE stuff 

Warriors of the long bow 

Guardians of the great Horn Spoon 

The Band of Brutes 

The Impenitent Order of Wife-beaters 

The Sublime Legion of  Flamboyant Conspicuants 

Worshippers at the Electroplated Shrine 

Shining Inaccessibles 

Fee-Faw-Fummers of the Inimitable Grip 

Janissaries of the Broad-Blown Peacock 

Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple 

The Grand Cabal of ABLE_BODIED SEDENTARIANS 

Associated Deities of the Butter Trade 

The Garden of Galoots 

The Affectionate Fraternity of men SIMILARLY WARTED 

The Flashing Astonishers

 Ladies of Horror

 Cooperative association for breaking into the Spotlight 

Dukes of Eden 

Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith 

Knights-Champion of the Domestic Dog 

The Holy Gregarians  

The Resolute Optimists

 The Ancient Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs 

Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity 

 Dukes Guardian of the Mystic Cesspool 

The Society for the Prevention of Prevalence  

Kings of Drink 

Polite Federation of Gents -Consequential 

The Mysterious Order of the Undecipherable Scroll

 Uniformed rank of lousy cats 

Monarchs of Worth and Hunger 

Sons of the South Star 

Prelates of the Tub-and Sword 

Sons and Daughters of Hope and Fear  

Mystery Society of Ignorant of the Unknowable

Royal Society for the Protection of Words 

National Society of Submissive Ignorant and Brown nosers

 Royal Society for the Positive Appraisal of Ugly People 

The Junk-fed lovers of Utter Rubbish. 

The Spiritual Association of Money Worshippers 

The Original Plagiarists´Society 

THE ARELUM Brotherhood 

The Royal Society of Chemtrail lovers 

The Aznarian Society of believers in Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Gastronomic Society of Lovers of Haxe Schwein/Ceviche/Quinoa 

Ethical Society of Honest PP members and sympathisers 

Epicurean Society of siesta and fiesta addicts

 Hedonistic Club of weekend lovers 

Psychic Association of Victims of Excruciating Physical Pain 

Skeptical believers 

Fantasies of Escape Senior Group 

Most Honourable Society of Compulsory Liars 

Mystical Association of the souls of the dead in Purgatory 

Toilet lovers united 

Bad art enthusiasts 

Lovers of the Hair Museum 

Mint lovers 

Most prestigous Order of Teachers and Pig castrators 

Most egregious Order of Beekeeping Teachers

 Most divine Order of Masturbating Priests 

Most Sublime Order of Boring Couch Potatoes 

The Oriental Order of Papiroflexic Otakus 

 The Special Order of Shiatsu and Reiki practitioners 

The Distinguished order of Music Maestros 

The most ancient order of Toxic Maniac Principals 

The most learned order of guilty-ridden headmasters 

The semi-autonomous order of envious caretakers

 The authoritative order of Neurotic manipulators 

The powerful order of Mediocre Psychopaths 

The emeritus Association of Gossip Professors 

The most visual order of internet ADDICTS 

The therapeutic Community of Emotional Vampires 

The Emphatic order of Compulsive Eaters 

The most reverent Society of Satan Worshippers

 Royal Victorian Order of lovers of the Walking-Stick/Pure Sheer Shit... 

The Most Holy order of the Saintly Prepuce /Foreskin

The Most Honourable Order of Holy Underpants 

The Most Innocent Order of Wheeler-Dealers 

The Royal Fraternity of Compulsive Liars 

The Historical Brotherhood of Exiled Presidents 

The Patriotic Order of Ruined Plutocrats 

The Meaningless Dukedom of Indifferent Patriots 

The Mendacious Association of Democratic Impostors

 The marvellous Group of Sincere Hypocrites 

The most Insane Association of Philanthropic Inquisitors 

The Humanitarian Society of Lady Killers 

The Genuine Association  of Humorous Homeopathists 

The Abject Royally Promiscuous Clique of Emeritus Kings 

Companions of Disgrace 

 Lovers of Crystal power 

Physician´s order of Holistic healing

 Most Sonorous Club of Psychic Vibrations 

The Karmic Club of Therapeutic Ionisers 

The Fraternity of Water energizers and spiritual intuition.

Most organised order of Shirkers, Avoiders and Lounge Lizards

(TRUE ASSOCIATIONS below: Find out more about each one of them) 

THE BENEVOLENT & PROTECTIVE ORDER OF ELKS

The Obedient Wives´Club 

 SKOPTSY 

SHRINERS INTERNATIONAL(Freemasons) 

PHI BETA KAPPA

 THE ORDER of THE OCCULT HAND 

THE BLACK HAND 

BELIZEAN GROVE 

THE EJECTION TIE CLUB 

THE MILE HIGH CLUB 

THE ALFALFA CLUB 

THE BEEFSTEAK CLUB 

DISNEY´S CLUB 33 

THE BILDERBERG CLUB 

The GIGA Society 

THE WOODCOCK Club 

MENSA 

THE BOHEMIAN Club

 THE 7 Society 

The Order of Chacronea 

THE KNIGHTS of the APOCALYPSE 

The CALVES´Head Club

 THE ARIOI 

THE ORDER OF THE PEACOCK ANGEL 

THE LEOPARD SOCIETY 

THE BALD KNOBBERS  

THE WORSHIPPERS OF DIVINE ORGASM

THE UTTAR PRADESH ASSOCIATION of DEAD PEOPLE

Make up your own Association,Order or Club and give it an original simple or compound name.

Imaginary nobility titles:
 I am referred to as the Earl of Sexi Firmium & Narixa; 
You could be appointed/annointed Duke of Ocurris &Ostippo; 
He could be the Count of Acinipo & Claviclum;
She could well be the Marchioness of Detunda & Illiberis;
It is the King of the Macroprotodon Cucullatus/Vipera Latasti
We are M.B.E.;O.B.E.Hallucinating members of the Human Race...

Give yourself a nobility title.

REALITY or FICTION?
Did these characters really exist?:

The Count of Montecristo
Count Dracula
The Marquis of Sade
 The Red Baron 
Duke of Earl 
King Kong 
The Queen Mother 
The Maharani of Kapurtala
The Knights at the Round Table
Archduke of Ausria 
The Countess in Hong Kong
Emperor Julius Caesar 
 Lord Byron 
Princess Casamassima 
Queen of the Underground
The Monarch Butterfly

Why did some pop groups have royalty in their names?:

QUEEN
PRINCE 
KING CRIMSON