OUR CONDITIONS : WHAT IF....?

After over four decades teaching conditional sentences  it is high time we did something different.For a start google search WHAT IF. You´ll come across songs and  situations which are:

Likely or Real:

What if I lose my smartphone/tablet/ipad/..?

               can´t pay my taxes?

               miss my pill?

               miss my period?

               never find love?

               am gay?

               don´t like sports?

               I die /without a will?

               we change?

               fail in life?

               can´t remember my password?

Hypothetical:

What if I shot my TV?

              there was no time left?

              I kissed you?

              I said it?

              I told you all about it?

              I won the lottery?

              I never saw you again?

              You were left stranded on a desert island?

              You fell downstairs?

               time stopped?

               I could make myself invisible?

               Sharks were people?(Bertolt Brecht) 

              everybody who told a lie turned green?

              people could get a driving licence at 14?

             children over 10 were allowed to vote?

             gold and petrol were found in your area?

             you were invited to the King´s birthday party?

             your little sister aged 14 told you she was pregnant?

             it rained every day of your holiday?

            you found a snake under your bed?

            you could not sleep at night?

 

               

Impossible: (Counterfactual History develops our imagination)

 

What if Napoleon/Hitler had not invaded Russia?

              you had invested in properties along the Spanish coast in the 60´s?

              I had never met you?

              there had never beeen a Spanish Civil War?

              you had been born a woman/man?

             you had had a twin sister? 

              

Please add five more sentences in each category.

 

              

              

                   

 

             

our world is THE OTHER WAY ROUND

I am extremely grateful to the Brothers Grimm for their imaginative stories and the Superman comics..

THE INHABITANTS OF SCHLAURAFFENLAND or BIZARRO WORLD or TOPSY-TURVY TOWN DID EVERYTHING IN REVERSE:

 

 WALKED AND DROVE BACKWARDS

DROVE THROUGH RED LIGHTS BUT STOPPED AT GREEN ONES

SWITCHED TV ON WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO WATCH TV

SWITCHED TV OFF WHEN THEY WANTED TO WATCH  IT

DISCONNECTED THEIR SMARTPHONES WHEN THEY WANTED TO SPEAK

CONNECTED THEIR TABLETS WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO SPEAK

HAD BREAKFAST BEFORE GOING TO BED

A FOOTLESS PERSON OUTRAN A QUICK HORSE

A YOUNG DONKEY& A PIG BOTH HAD A SILVER NOSE

 HARES WERE CHASING GREYHOUNDS

FISH FLEW AND BIRDS SWAM

DOVES WERE TEARING A HYENA

MICE WERE CONSECRATING A BISHOP

A SNAIL SLEW TWO LIONS

TWO SUCKING CHILDREN ROCKED THEIR MOTHER IN A CRADLE

TWO GOATS WERE HEATING THE OVEN

BEGGARS WERE COLLECTING MONEY FOR THE RICH

 

(See if you can come up with a few more sentences.Don´t forget the world is the other way round and the daily news is proof of it)

SELECTED WEBSITES TO LEARN MORE

HERE´S AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF WEBSITES WHICH WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR LEARNING ADVENTURE. REMEMBER WE NEVER STOP LEARNING

HTTP://WWW.ENGLISHPAGE.COM

                             PROJECTBRITAIN.COM

                              BBCLEARNINGENGLISH.COM

                               THEENGLISHCLUB.COM

                               BRITISHCOUNCIL.COM

                               NONSTOPENGLISH.COM

                               TEACHINGENGLISH.ORG.UK

                               HOWJSAY.COM

                                FREEENGLISH.COM

                                 ENGLISH ZONE.COM

                                  ENGLISH-AT-HOME.COM

                                  WORLD-ENGLISH.ORG

                                  LEARN-ENGLISH-TODAY.COM

                                  LEARNREALENGLISH.COM

                                  SAY-IT-IN-ENGLISH.COM

                                  LEARNENGLISH.ORG.U.K.

                                  ENGLISHLEARNER.COM

                                   THE BEEHIVE.ORG

                                   KOVALYOV.COM

                                    ABROADLANGUAGES.COM

                                    ONESTOPCLIL.COM

                                    WORDREFERENCE.COM

                                    CAMBRIDGE.ORG/ELT/IBERIA

                                    THAT´S ENGLISH.COM

                                     VOCABULARY.CO.IL

                                     VOCABVITAMINS.COM

                                      ESL.ABOUT.COM

                                      ESL-LAB.COM

                                      TESOL.ORG

                                        THE BUSYENGLISHTEACHER

                                        BREAKINGNEWSENGLISH.COM

                                         BETTERATENGLISH.COM

                                        TEACHERTUBE.COM

                                        IMEEM.COM

                                         ELLO.ORG

                                         NATURALREADERS.COM

                                        LITSCAPE.COM

                                        TEDTALKSVIDEOS.COM

                                        ESL VIDEOS/JOKES/FORUMS/QUIZZES....

                                        FLOW-ENGLISH-SECRETS.BLOGSPOT.COM

                                        EDUCATE-YOURSELF.ORG

                                        COMMON.DREAMS.ORG

                                        LABLIT.COM

                                        POETS.ORG 

                                        ISABELPEREZ.COM

                                      

proof or spoof?

There is no disputing about tastes and it takes all sorts to make a world, so the sayings go. Which of the following societies or fan clubs are real and which ones are fictional? Try to guess:

 

ART                                  APPRECIATION SOCIETY

ALMOND BLOSSOM                     "                     "

BEARD                                             "                     "

BRITISH VOLES                            "                     "

ORANGE BLOSSOM                     "                     "

WINE                                                "                      "

MALTED BARLEY                        "                      "

ELECTRICITY PYLONS              "                       "

GERMAN CARS                             "                       "

ROUNDABOUT                              "                        "

CAIPIRINHA                                  "                         "

CHOCOLATE                                "                          "

PORK PIE                                       "                          "

DISNEY                                            "                          "

ACOUSTIC VIBRATION              "                           "

BEER                                                "                           "

FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION "                           "

LOWLY TINNED SARDINE           "                           "

SAUSAGE & BUN                             "                            "

SHERLOCK HOLMES                    "                             "

FLOWER                                            "                             "

TOM SHARPE                                    "                             "

RAIN                                                     "                             "

HELEN MIRREN                                "                              "

APOSTROPHE PROTECTION        "                                "

PLANE                                                   "                               "

WHICH NEW SOCIETY/IES OR FAN CLUB(S) WOULD YOU SET UP?
WHICH OF THE ABOVE LIST HAVE LITERARY REFERENCES?

A BIRD IN A TREE

SO-CALLED ILLITERATE PEOPLE WILL NEVER SAY "A BIRD IN A TREE "AS THEY HAVE THE TRADITIONAL WISDOM OF NATURE. SO, DO NOT BE VAGUE, BE MORE SPECIFIC

WHICH BIRD AND WHICH TREE ARE WE REFERRING TO WHEN  WE SPEAK OF:

 

AN ORIOLE IN AN ORANGE TREE

A PARROT IN A PEPPER TREE

AN OWL IN AN OLIVE TREE

A BEE EATER IN A BAOBAB

A SHRIKE IN A SEQUOIA

A QUAIL IN A QUINCE TREE

A SWALLOW IN A SERVICE TREE

A PARTRIDGE IN A POPLAR

A MYNAH BIRD, A MAGPIE AND A MACAW IN A MIMOSA

A PEACOCK IN A POMEGRANATE TREE

A WOODLARK AND A WREN IN A WALNUT TREE

A CRESTED LARK, A CROW AND A CHAFFINCH IN A CHERRY TREE

A COCKATOO IN A CHIRIMOYA(custard apple) TREE

A STORK IN A STAR FRUIT TREE

A ROBIN IN A ROCK ROSE / A REDWOOD

A MOCKING BIRD IN A MEDLAR

A CARDINAL IN A CAROB TREE

A HUMMING BIRD IN A HOLLYHOCK

A PARAKEET IN A PALM TREE

A FALCON IN A FIR TREE

A HOOPOE IN A HOLM OAK

A FINCH IN A FIG TREE

A DUCK IN A DATE PALM

A GOOSE AND A GROUSE IN A GUAVA TREE

A TERN IN A TOMATO TREE

A PIGEON IN A PINE TREE 

AN EGRET IN A EUCALIPTUS TREE

A LAPWING IN A LINDEN TREE

A KESTREL IN A KIWI TREE

A JAY IN A JUNIPER

A PUFFIN IN A PLUM TREE

A CONDOR IN A CYPRESS

A BLACKBIRD IN AN APRICOT TREE

A GREENFINCH IN A LYCHEE

A TURTLE DOVE IN A CEDAR

A KINGFISHER IN A KHAKI TREE (PERSIMMON)

(In Spanish: UN ZORZAL EN UN ZARZAL)

A SONG THRUSH IN A BLACKBERRY/ BRAMBLES) 

 

 

WHICH OF THE ABOVE ASSOCIATIONS IS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE IN NATURE?

WHICH IS/ARE THE ODD-BIRD(S)-OUT?

WHICH CLIMATE GOES WITH WHICH HABITAT? It would be difficult to find a penguin in a very hot climate. Check some inconsistencies or incongruities in the above list.

Which one(s) may have literary connotations?

Who is the "so-called illiterate"? The country man who knows the birds and trees above or the ones who think that  TWIT, TWITTER and BLACKBERRY are just new Technology items?

 

 

 

 

some fishy fishes

TRY TO LINK THE  FISH ON THE LEFT COLUMN WITH THEIR TRANSLATION ON THE RIGHT COLUMN:

RAPE                           RED MULLET

ANGUILA                   DOGFISH

MERLUZA                  EEL

CONGRIO                   OCTOPUS

CHANQUETE            CRAB

PULPO                         ATLANTIC BONITO

BACALAO                  MONKFISH, ANGLER FISH

MERO                          MACKEREL

JUREL                         BREAM

SALMONETE            SOLE

PINTARROJA           SARGUS

CANGREJO              WHITEBAIT

RAYA                         RED MULLET

SARGO                      GROUPER

CABALLA               COD

BONITO                    RED BREAM

PEZ ESPADA         CUTTLE FISH

LENGUADO           CONGER EEL

JIBIA                         HAKE

BESUGO                 SWORD FISH

 

Any fresh water creature in the above list ?

Think of at least three other fresh water fish ...

PRACTICAL RECIPES..SOME COOKERY LESSONS

WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE SOME SPECIAL DISH? 

LONG LIVE FLOUR POWER...

HERE´S A LIST OF DISHES FOR THE AMATEURISH FOOD LOVER:

PANCAKES

SCRAMBLED EGGS

A BIRTHDAY  SPONGE CAKE

BLACK FOREST GATEAU

TORRIJAS

MILK SWEET

FRIED MILK

TACOS

YOUR VEGETARIAN MINESTRONE

DEVISE YOUR OWN PIZZA

A NERJA SALAD

  ALMOND / OIL BISCUITS 

WHITE GARLIC SOUP

CARROT-IER CARROTS

PEOPLE´S PAELLA

MEATY MIGAS

GARLIC MAYONNAISE( allioli)

YOUR GAZPACHO versus SALMOREJO

LOCAL OMELETTE

A SARDINES´ MORAGA

SQUID IN THEIR INK

MEAT BALLS

STUFFED AUBERGINES/ COURGETTES/ ARTICHOKES/PEPPERS..

CUAJADA = JUNKET

A CAKE IN THE FORM OF A RING = ROSCÓN

HUESOS DE SANTO = SAINTS´ BONES

A SUMMER PUDDING = A FRUIT HAT

FONDUE

LITTLE BACON OF HEAVEN?