English creativity

miércoles, 14 de agosto de 2013

The negative confession

"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see."
-- Winston Churchill

Over 5000 years ago the Egyptians earnestly believed in life after death.That´s why classical Egyptian mummies had in their hands a carefully folded papyrus with a negative confession like this:

I have not stolen/ plundered

I have not killed / slain anybody

I have not told lies

I have not been an adulterer

I have not done harm to anybody

I have not caused ruin to any family

I have not drunk or eaten in excess

I have not done any wrong against Nature

I have not misbehaved

I have not committed a crime

I have not cursed

I have not caused anyone to weep

I have not eaten my heart out

I have not gone or led anyone astray

I have not been deceitful

I have not gossiped or slandered or eavesdrop

I have not been contentious in affairs

I have not caused terror

I have not become heatedly angry

I have not been arrogant

I have not reviled the Pharaoh

Now, being good can be extremely boring. Turn the above confession into positive by creating as evil a person as you can think of. Remember to draw inspiration from Satan, Lucifer or Beelzebub.....

Give him or her a name and try to draw him or her

Great minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss events,
Small minds discuss people.

This activity started when the Finnish businessman Sampsa Nuotio googled "AM I?" and came across the following suggestions: "Am I an alcoholic?" "Am I able to drive?""Am I allergic to dogs?" "Tell me, am I?." He found beauty,musicality and meaning in the above lines and started Google Poetics, not exactly a literary movement but just an inspiring game characterised by surrealist associations and alliteration.
Here goes our own AM I ?poem, inspired by the internet:

Am I anorexic?

Am I attractive?

Am I a psycho, a sociopath?

Am I a mess, a messy eater, a messi-ah?

Am I an a(u)nt eater? Thanks Roald Dahl

Am I a minute, an hour, or just a second?

Am I drunk?

Am I a banknote?

Am I inspiring,inspired, inspirational?

Am I cowardly?

An x?

A ring?(What kind of ring?) A ring of counterfeit driver´s licences

A witness( " " " "? ) A Jehovah witness

Am I a magician/ a wizard?

Am I a prison(er)?

Am I a motorcycle helmet?

Am I a blood red cell?

Am I a cigarette?

Am I a beer?

Am I a fan?

Am I a chess piece?

Am I a crook?

Am I an anecdote?

Am I Lb /Luis Bárcenas?

Make up your own Bard 2.0 poem starting Do you....?

Are you...?

Is she/he....?

Can you....?

or Negative

Don´t you.....?

Aren´t you....?

Can´t you.....?

martes, 13 de agosto de 2013

The "irregularities" of irregular verbs

Traditionally, students of English have been asked to memorize long lists of irregular verbs, which they forget as soon as the exams are over. Remember, if you forget the irregular past or past participle,English people will understand you if you turn the verb into a regular form by adding -ed.
After all, language is used to communicate....
(I am bound to admit that even good students will find this activity very hard indeed)

Try to find the 20 English irregular verbs which mean the following:

SPANISH ENGLISH

lanzar, echar: c_ _ _ c c

t_ _ _ _ t_ _ _ _ t_ _ _ _ _

f_ _ _ _ f_ _ _ _ f_ _ _ _

s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _

suplicar b_ _ _ _ _ _ b_ _ _ _ _ _ _ b_ _ _ _ _ _ _

pegar(se) s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _

cl_ _ _ cl_ _ _ cl_ _ _

abandonar f_ _ _ _ _ _ f_ __ _ _ _ f_ _ _ _ _ _ _

tenderse l_ _ l_ _ l_ _ _

colocar l_ _ l_ _ _ l_ _ _

esquilar s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _

apoyarse l_ _ _ l_ _ _ _ l_ _ _ _

encoger(se) s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _

deslizarse s_ _ _ _ s _ _ _ s_ _ _

desplegar s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _

esparcir s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _

ensartar s_ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ _

s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _

hinchar(se) s_ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ _ s_ _ _ _ _ _

(re)torcer w_ _ _ _ w_ _ _ _ w_ _ _ _

FORFEITS

Many classroom games call for the payment of forfeits by the losers.The aim of a forfeit is to make students feel rather foolish or to give them a problem to solve. I´ve used them in quizzes, spin-the-bottle and many other competitive games or simply for the sheer fun of executing an order. They could be classified according to the degree of difficulty into Innocent, Average and Diabolical:(We have over one hundred forfeits: too long to include them all here...)
Demonstrate breakdancing/hip hop/ flamenco
- Clean the blackboard
  - Count backwards from 20 to 0
    - Say the alphabet backwards
      - Touch your toes
        
        Tell a joke until s.o. laughs
        
        Put some money on the table
        
        Put your hands on your head
        
        Draw a car in your notebook
        
        Walk round my chair
        
        Balance a pencil on your nose for fifteen seconds

lunes, 12 de agosto de 2013

Would you rather?

I came across this page: www.would-you-rather.com.They present you with a choice and this may lead you to feel embarrassment, pain, fear, discomfort or any other feeling. It´s also a game and you have to choose your course of action:

WOULD YOU RATHER BE a hammer or a nail?

SOFT/ HARD a rose or a cactus?

glass or wood?

water or fire?

bitter or sweet?

cold or hot?

an eagle or a sparrow?

a snail or a hare?

a hawk or a mouse?

a lemon or an orange?

a rock or a leaf ?

a potato or a sweet potato?

chicken or egg?

invisible or invincible?

ruled exclusively by your heart or your mind?

constantly depressed or constantly afraid?

stuck in a lift for two days with s.o. who talks too much or s.o. who won´t talk at all?

stupid and rich or smart and poor?

raised by wolves or by dolphins?

known as a tyrant or as a wimp?

offensive or incredibly passive?

the thickest person at school or the ugliest?

every minute of your life indoors or outdoors?

embarrased or watch someone else being embarrased?

extremely lucky or extremely smart?(Not both)

be gossiped about constantly or never talked about?

be known as the most passionate person or the most generous?

never be able to say the word love or never be able to kiss? a brilliant singer in a bad band or a mediocre singer in a pop band?

a mouse stalked by a cat or a rabbit spotted by a hawk?

a bullfighter or a circus lion tamer?

a boy named Eutrapelio or a girl named Remigia?

with s.o. for the wrong reasons or totally alone for the right reasons?

an only child or one of eight brothers and sisters?

Too naive or too cynical?

able to walk on water forever or fly for 3 hours?

beautiful and boring or very unsightly with a great personality?

tone deaf or colour blind?

famous for being a genius or for being good-looking?

known for your intelligence or for your courage?

stranded in the desert or in the jungle?

a hermit or a socializer and have to meet 200 people a day?

caught lying about your age or about how much money you make?

famous or rich? (but not both)

known as a thief or as a liar?

WOULD YOU RATHER LOOK LIKE YOU´RE 60 WHEN YOU´RE 20 OR LOOK LIKE YOU´RE 10 WHEN YOU´RE 40?

WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE...

A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY OR ESP?

A BIONIC EYE OR A BIONIC ARM?

A NOISY NEIGHBOUR OR A NOSY NEIGHBOUR?

TO DATE S.O. WHO IS ALWAYS NEGATIVE OR S.O. WHO IS FALSELY POSITIVE?

SOCIALLY RECLUSIVE CHILDREN OR BULLIES?

NO KIDS OR TEN KIDS?

MEMORY LOSS OR VISION LOSS?

YOUR HOUSE NEXT TO A RUBBISH DUMP OR A GRAVEYARD?

A FAMOUS SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU OR A BOOK?

QUESTIONABLE INTEGRITY OR NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?

A HOME WITHOUT ELECTRICITY OR RUNNING WATER?

SEE EVERYTHING UPSIDE DOWN OR HEAR EVERYTHING BACKWARDS?

SUPERSENSITIVE SMELL OR SUPERSENSITIVE HEARING?

Make up five new choices starting with WOULD YOU RATHER..?

OUR CONDITIONS : WHAT IF....?

After over four decades teaching conditional sentences it is high time we did something different.For a start google search WHAT IF. You´ll come across songs and situations which are:

Likely or Real:

What if I lose my smartphone/tablet/ipad/..?

can´t pay my taxes?

miss my pill?

miss my period?

never find love?

am gay?

don´t like sports?

I die /without a will?

we change?

fail in life?

can´t remember my password?

Hypothetical:

What if I shot my TV?

there was no time left?

I kissed you?

I said it?

I told you all about it?

I won the lottery?

I never saw you again?

You were left stranded on a desert island?

You fell downstairs?

time stopped?

I could make myself invisible?

Sharks were people?(Bertolt Brecht)

everybody who told a lie turned green?

people could get a driving licence at 14?

children over 10 were allowed to vote?

gold and petrol were found in your area?

you were invited to the King´s birthday party?

your little sister aged 14 told you she was pregnant?

it rained every day of your holiday?

you found a snake under your bed?

you could not sleep at night?

Impossible: (Counterfactual History develops our imagination)

What if Napoleon/Hitler had not invaded Russia?

you had invested in properties along the Spanish coast in the 60´s?

I had never met you?

there had never beeen a Spanish Civil War?

you had been born a woman/man?

you had had a twin sister?

Please add five more sentences in each category.

our world is THE OTHER WAY ROUND

I am extremely grateful to the Brothers Grimm for their imaginative stories and the Superman comics..

THE INHABITANTS OF SCHLAURAFFENLAND or BIZARRO WORLD or TOPSY-TURVY TOWN DID EVERYTHING IN REVERSE:

WALKED AND DROVE BACKWARDS

DROVE THROUGH RED LIGHTS BUT STOPPED AT GREEN ONES

SWITCHED TV ON WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO WATCH TV

SWITCHED TV OFF WHEN THEY WANTED TO WATCH IT

DISCONNECTED THEIR SMARTPHONES WHEN THEY WANTED TO SPEAK

CONNECTED THEIR TABLETS WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO SPEAK

HAD BREAKFAST BEFORE GOING TO BED

A FOOTLESS PERSON OUTRAN A QUICK HORSE

A YOUNG DONKEY& A PIG BOTH HAD A SILVER NOSE

HARES WERE CHASING GREYHOUNDS

FISH FLEW AND BIRDS SWAM

DOVES WERE TEARING A HYENA

MICE WERE CONSECRATING A BISHOP

A SNAIL SLEW TWO LIONS

TWO SUCKING CHILDREN ROCKED THEIR MOTHER IN A CRADLE

TWO GOATS WERE HEATING THE OVEN

BEGGARS WERE COLLECTING MONEY FOR THE RICH

(See if you can come up with a few more sentences.Don´t forget the world is the other way round and the daily news is proof of it)