THE AGING PROCESS : ON
GETTING OLD (DIS) GRACEFULLY….
QUOTATIONS
I have
finally become the person I always wanted to be: an old person, perhaps still young at
heart, and a naive mind, the old man I wanted to meet in my youth.
“Of all
tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the
most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under
omnipotent moral busybodies.” CS Lewis
"To
get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up
early, or be respectable." Oscar Wilde
"The
older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." Will
Rogers
"We
must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars –more and more
repairs and replacements are necessary." C.S. Lewis
"Old
age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is
nothing you can do about it." Golda Meir
"I’m
so old that my blood type is discontinued."Bill Dane
"The
older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Mark Twain
"Wisdom
doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by
itself."
Tom Wilson
"Always
be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your
retirement home." Phyllis Diller
"I
don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears
meet."Rita Rudner
"I’m
at that age where my back goes out more than I do." Phyllis Diller
"Nice
to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere." George Burns
"Don't
let aging get you down. It's too hard to get backup" John Wagner
"First
you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper
up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." Leo Rosenberg
“Aging
seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins
“Old people
shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”
Robert Orben
"It’s
important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." Unknown
"At my
age, flowers scare me." George Burns
“I have
successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late
to just wanting to go to bed." Unknown
"At
age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what
they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at
all." Ann Landers
"When
I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I
was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did
then, and I’m labelled senile." George Burns
"I
complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very
few of them actually got past." Robert Brault
"The
important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." Unknown
"As
you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't
remember the other two." Sir Norman
Wisdom
“It’s
paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the
idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy Rooney
“Birthdays
are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the
longest.” Larry Lorenzoni ( A pedophile priest)
“The older
I get, the better I used to be.” Lee
Trevino
"You
know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." John
Mendoza
"I was
thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older,
and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam." George
Carlin
"I
don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my
nap." Bob Hope
"I’m
59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"
Barry Cryer
"I
don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast."
Anonymous
“By the
time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. Then, you only have to
remember it.” George Burns
“Old age
isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” Maurice Chevalier
"Getting
older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380pounds, and
tell the truth." Conan O’Brien
"I
have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have
to." Albert Einstein
"Grand
children don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a
grandmother that does." J. Norman Collie
"You know
you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t
work." Hy Gardner
"When
your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign
you’re getting old." Mark Twain
"You
know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." Joel
Plaskett
"There’s
one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." Dennis Wolfberg
"I've
never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything
else." Josh Billings
"At my
age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in
for." Unknown
"Old
age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there
are fewer articles to read." George Burns
"The
idea is to die young as late as possible." Ashley Montagu
“You know
you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else
you could do while you’re down there.” George Burns
"People
ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell
them, a paternity suit." George Burns
"Time
may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." Anonymous.
“Those who
love deeply never grow old, they may die of old age, but they die young.”
Benjamin Franklin
“Age is a
case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” Satchel Paige
“That’s another great thing about getting
older. Your life is written on your face.” Frances McDormand
“Anyone who
keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” Franz Kafka
“Old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes
“We are
always the same age inside.” Gertrude Stein
“It matters
not how long we live but how.” Phillip James Bailey
Aging: For a chuckle and a laugh:
An elderly
gent had serious hearing problems for years. He went to the MD. He was fitted
for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly
gent went back in a month to the doctor who said, 'Your hearing is perfect.
Your family must be really pleased.'
The gent
replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to
their conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
A man was
telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four
thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,'
answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve
thirty.'
Morris, an
82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days
later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young
woman on his arm.
A couple of
days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great,
aren't you?'
Morris
replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor
said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Two elderly
gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when
one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full
of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says,
'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!?
Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No
hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Three old
guys are out walking.
The first
one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
The second
one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
The third
one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
SOME POEMS ON AGING
Age is Better – Rod Mc Kuen
I have been young, a fresh-faced sprout,
with agile
legs, a muscled arm and smile to charm the world I went through
in a rush to get a little older,
sooner.
Catching my
reflection while passing past
a looking glass not
long ago
I
discovered I was older, even old. There was no sudden melancholy or regret, and
yet
some
sadness in the wonder that it happened while I wasn’t watching,
No pause to
proudly ply the autumn into winter
process.
Imagine. Nothing
changed.
I run as
fast. I think a little faster and yet forget at times what I went after there
as I left here to
get it. This while crossing half a room not half a lifetime.
So I’ve been young and I’ve been old and have determined old is better.
Youth
unfolds like coy Cleopatra from a rug spilling all its golden wonders at the
foot of age
who seems
to envy everything, especially spring.
The young pledge
anything to get an audience. Delivering
sometimes,
most times not, on their way before the promissory note comes due.
Can you
blame them as they hurry off, afraid another runner may beat them to The Score
ahead
leaving nothing to be scored?
Age is oft
times bitter, feeling in its failing health that wealth of life eluded it.
Apologize somebody or
some thing
for leaving me to find the way I never found or could not find because it was
not there
or never was.
But having
seen the surge of youth, the sag of age in breast and chest and everything, I
still say spring is
overrated. Age is better.
Less is
expected of the once firm chest that drags a little lower, the robust voice
reduced to murmur speaking
slower.
Age can
finally say aloud what it really feels and thinks in after dinner company or
crowd.
No one blinks.
If they do, no matter.
Age erases
pretence; replacing it with honesty.
Age is
proof you got from there to here. Alas
so many that you loved did not complete the journey. You mourn them, yes, and
always will, but age is such a triumph over youth, again, because you moved
across the years to here. Leaving there where it belongs for youth to
come along and re-discover. Rod Mc
Kuen
Time Steals
Away ( by Mary Groarke)
The week I
was born,
The world
had aged.
It was
older than yesterday,
And
thousands of years older than me.
Monday
brought rain in early morning.
Tuesday,
war stole over villages, breaking lives.
By midday
on Wednesday, children were singing,
Preparing
for Christmas pantomimes and shows.
Thursday
the philosophy club met for drinks
And
discussed why Christmas exists at all.
Friday
evening the weekend days were close,
Somewhere
those days filled up with pain
And
uninvited consequences resounded.
That one
week,
After I was
born,
The world
had aged.
It was
older than yesterday.
And
thousands of years older than me.
Another
Monday, school started with a bang.
Exams
exhausted the land and took control.
That
Tuesday, teachers went on strike
And stayed
home Wednesday to make a point.
Thursday
brought floods after heavy showers
With Friday
spent mopping up the wet residue.
The weekend
saw the opening of spring fairs
And prayers
for sun to mitigate the rain.
That week
After I was
born
The world
had aged.
It was
older than yesterday.
And
thousands of years older than me.
Several
Mondays brought miners working mines.
Next day,
their lungs were filled with choking misery.
Babies
burst out on Wednesdays, crying for milk.
Nuns prayed
on Thursdays for the world’s forgiveness.
Friday
night, Kiddush brought peace and beauty.
Every
weekend brought fun, rest and joy to some.
The weeks
moved quickly, speedily along.
1984, 2001,
milestone years came and went.
Every week
After I was
born
The world
aged.
It was
older than yesterday.
And
thousands of years older than me.
Then, my
Mondays to Sundays zipped right by.
Dreams
became opportunities hit, and missed.
Once
wishing to be 21, now double that would suffice.
Time became
unstoppable, aging became inevitable.
Events
happened in the blink of a speedy eye,
And joints
began to creak before I realised
A lifetime
had happened to ponder about,
To shout
out loud about, to leave behind.
Some week,
After I am
no more
The world
will have aged.
It will be
older than yesterday.
And
thousands of years older than me.
Mary
Groarke – January 2024
Ageing
When I look
in the mirror just what do I see?
A wizened
old woman, could it really be me?
I take off
my glasses and everything’s hazy
But my
young self appears and I’m not going crazy
All that is
there are the bits that don’t show
All the
things that I’ve learned
All the
things that I know
I’m
resplendent in wisdom
I’m the
sage that friends seek
And it just
doesn’t matter that there’s veins on my cheek
It’s great
to have knowledge
To have
learned from mistakes
Every line
every wrinkle hard earned
They’re not
fake!
So for me
old age comes with a great deal of pride
I put my
specs back on as I’ve nothing to hide.
By Maggie 2024
Acceptance
Accept the
fact you’re not so young
Your looks
are gone – your praises sung
No
longer. Now as time passes
Your body
sags – and you need glasses.
Accept the
fact you’re growing old
Accept the
fact your nose is cold
In winter,
when the cruel winds blow
and earth
is covered with soft snow
Accept the
fact your friends have died
So wipe
away those tears you’ve cried
Tomorrow is
another day
Whatever else your heart may say.
Janet Patterson 2024
What Will Matter? ( by Michael Josephson)
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or
days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or
forgotten
will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to
irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were
owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists
will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will
fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from
or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or
brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought
but what you built, not what you got but what you
gave.
What will matter is not your success
but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned
but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence
but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re
gone.
What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Last night I facilitated my first “Death Cafe” in the
community. Two brave souls
attended. And how rich was our
conversation. We talked about death,
what it means and our fear about it. And
this poem summarizes well some of the themes we talked about – about how an
awareness of death can help us to truly live.